Why Rest Matters: Science, Soul, and Saying No to Burnout

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We question the belief that value equals output and explore how rest—scientific, emotional, creative, and social—restores the mind, body, and spirit. We share stories, micro‑practices, and rituals that make slowing down feel possible without guilt.

• culture of productivity and the cost of pushing through
• personal burnout story as a turning point
• brain science of sleep, memory and creativity
• nervous system basics and why rest heals
• expanding rest beyond sleep: emotional, creative, social
• how family messages shape rest guilt
• signs of soul‑tired and early warning cues
• micro‑rests and simple daily rituals that stick
• community support that makes rest safer
• visualization, resources and a gentle weekly prompt

Write down one way you can invite more rest into your life. Not as a reward, but as a piece of nourishment for yourself.

If you’re struggling with this, feel free to reach out to me at 956-249-7930. You can leave an anonymous question by calling, voicemail, or voice memo, and I’ll answer it on the show.

If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you’d subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care.

And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they’re not alone.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Show Purpose
• 1:21 Challenging Productivity Culture
• 2:37 Personal Burnout Story
• 4:19 Naming the Real Topic: Rest
• 5:08 Brain Science of Sleep
• 8:20 Creativity and Default Mode
• 9:35 Nervous System: Fight or Flight vs Rest
• 12:15 Cultural Shame Around Rest
• 14:22 You’re Not Lazy, You’re Human
• 16:12 Why We Resist Rest
• 18:02 Family Messages About Busyness
• 19:40 Guided Pause and Reflection
• 21:12 Forms of Rest Beyond Sleep
• 23:04 Signs Your Soul Is Tired
• 24:18 Myths About Rest
• 25:56 A River Moment: Being Over Doing
• 27:08 Micro-Rest Practices
• 28:25 Starting Small & Rituals of Rest

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat. Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, mental wellness with a friendly voice. I'm Cat, therapist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the hill country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. We live in a culture that worships productivity. We measure our worth by how much we can do, how much we achieve, how much we produce. But what if the real path to thriving begins not with doing more, but with finally giving ourselves permission to rest? Hi friends, welcome back to Couch Time with Cat. I'm so glad you're here. Let me start with a little confession. I'm not great at resting. If there were Olympic medal, an Olympic medal for pushing through, for ignoring exhaustion, for adding just one more thing to the list, I would have a trophy case by now. I'll tell you a quick story. A few months ago, I had one of those weeks. You know the kind. Every slot in the calendar was filled, clients back to back, family needs, email stack like pancakes. And by Friday night I could feel the heaviness in my bones. But instead of slowing down, I told myself, just push through, you'll rest later. Well, later didn't come, and I ended up sick in bed, not resting because I chose to, but because my body forced me to. And lying there, cough drops on the nightstand, tissue scattered everywhere, you know, when the nightstand is full of like Gatorade and tea and all of the things just because you're trying to nourish yourself back to health. I thought, why is it so hard for me to choose rest before I collapse? Maybe you've had a moment like that too, when you knew you needed to stop, but you didn't, because the laundry still needed doing, because the emails kept coming, because deep down you felt like you hadn't earned rest yet. And here's the thing: we live in a culture that reinforces this. We're told to hustle, grind, stay busy, maximize productivity. Rest is treated like a luxury, or worse, a weakness. The message is your value equals your output. But what if that's not true? Can we take a minute? Can we just take today to maybe challenge that for a moment? What if the real path to thriving doesn't come from squeezing more into our days, but from giving ourselves permission to stop, exhale, and to just be. That's what today's episode is about. Rest, the scanso. How to learn it, why it feels so hard, and how we can invite it into our lives with more ease and less guilt. Because here's the truth rest is not indulgent, it's essential. Our bodies, our minds, our hearts, they all need space to recover, to restore, and to remember who we are outside of doing. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat. And today we're talking about how to learn how to rest well, why it's so hard, and how we can invite it into our lives more. Let's talk a little science and soul. So, science backs up the fact that we need rest, that it just isn't nice, but it's necessary. Let's start with the brain. Neuroscience tells us that when we rest, especially when we sleep, our brains are hard at work. Oh my gosh, friends, let me tell you, if I have ever been implicated on this show for not practicing what I preach, this is it. I mean, put handcuffs on me, take me to the clink. I am not good at rest, especially sleep. Lord have mercy. I can just, I bet like all of you or a lot of you, I can fit one more house chore, or one more episode of 30 rock, or one more episode of Golden Girls. Oh man. You guys are friends now, right? You and I are friends. I'm gonna spill some tea. I watch certain shows on repeat. I mean, for years I've been watching Cheers, Golden Girls, The West Wing, 30 Rock, New Girl. Just these like light, fun shows. West Wing isn't that light and fun, but I love the writing. But I usually watch something just light and silly and fun, Seinfeld anybody, because it helps me calm down. But what I'm trading for that time is very good sleep. While we sleep, our brains are hard at work. The hippocampus, which is kind of like your brain's memory inbox, passes experience over to the neocortex, just stay with me, where they're stored long term. It's like a little male system. It's how short-term memories become lasting ones. Studies even show that people who sleep after studying remember about 40% more than those who don't. Oh my God, when was that when I was in college? Where was that fact when I was in college? Rest literally helps us learn and grow. Remember when we used to cram, quote unquote cram for tests, and we thought, well, I won't implicate you. I thought that the more time my eyeballs were open, staring at a notebook with notes, that if I could just power through like a zombie, then that would mean a better test score. But I just had no clue about how to properly study and how to maximize my studying, so to speak. But sleeping isn't just about memory, it's creativity too. When we stop focusing so hard and let our minds wander, maybe while we're in the shower, driving, or taking a walk, our brain's default mode network switches on. That's the part of the brain responsible for connecting the dots, sparking fresh insights and generating new ideas. That's why so many of us say my best ideas come when I'm not even trying. A lot of us have great ideas in the shower or when we're on a walk, um, or when we're just kind of spacing out and looking at the sky. Now let's talk about the nervous system. We really only have two gears. There's the sympathetic nervous system, that's fight or flight, and then there's the parasympathetic nervous system, that's rest and digest. I'm also implicating myself here. I am a trauma therapist and I can never get these straight. Okay. So you don't have to worry about that. Don't, don't worry about it. You just say fight or flight, rest and digest. You don't have to worry about the scientific terms. I've made a whole career of it, and I still can't get them straight, and that's okay. Most of us spend way too much time stuck in fight or flight mode. The constant emails, the rushing, the pushing through. Reply, reply, reply, notification, notification. But it's in rest and digest that our bodies heal. Our heart rate slows, our blood pressure balances, our immune systems strengthen, our digestion improves. Rest is not indulgent, it's biology. And the harder truth, we live in a culture where rest is almost shamed. I heard Glenn Doyle on her podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, and she was saying that her wife, Abby Wombach, was resting at her. Sometimes when we are so used to being quick and busy and productive, it can feel annoying and frustrating to watch somebody rest. I know when I'm watching somebody rest while I'm hustling, I start to get kind of this like hot fire inside my belly, thinking, how dare you rest! I'm working so hard. Studies show Americans are sleeping over an hour less each night than they did back in the 1940s. Oh, please. I bet it's like three hours less. Meanwhile, that's not science, that's just my own opinion. Meanwhile, burnout and stress-related illnesses are at an all-time high. I bet that's true. No wonder we're exhausted. So if you've ever felt guilty about slowing down, I want you to hear this. You're not lazy. You're human. And your body was designed to need rest. Okay, repeat after me for a second, okay? I'm not lazy. I'm not lazy. I'm human. I'm human. My body was designed to need rest. My body was designed to need rest. Think about your phone. When the battery runs low, you don't get mad at it. You don't call it lazy, you just plug it in because you know it needs a recharge. Our brains and bodies work the same way. Rest isn't wasted time, it's recharge. It makes everything else possible. As we learn and evolve, listener, we learn and evolve and we transcend different stages and we include new information and experiences. We didn't used to think rest was necessary or we thought rest was a weakness. And that's okay. We didn't know better back then. That's okay. But now that we do know better, can we point our toes in the direction of rest? Can we watch one less 30 rock episode? Can we get off our phone 30 minutes earlier? Can we just welcome rest and sleep instead of pushing it away or instead of resisting it? Why do you think so many of us resist rest, even when we're exhausted? Maybe for you it's a voice in your head that says, I'll rest when everything's done. Or maybe you equate rest with laziness. Or maybe you just feel like there's always something more important than slowing down, emails to answer, laundry to fold, people to care for. Sometimes rest doesn't feel earned unless we're completely burned out. Here's another question. Have you ever struggled personally with giving yourself permission to rest? If you're nodding your head, yes, like me, I hear you. Maybe you feel restless when you try to sit still. So what's the point of that? Maybe your brain races with all the things you should be doing. Maybe you've even sat on the couch, finally taking a moment, and then picked up your phone to scroll because rest felt uncomfortable. That's so common. And I'll be honest, I've done it too. What about this one? What messages did you absorb growing up around work, rest, and slowing down? Some of you might have grown up in families where productivity was prized above all else. Before I continue on that point, I want you to know that anytime I'm referring to our parents and our caregivers, I'm doing it with a lot of understanding and compassion. Never blame, never disparaging, never wagging my finger. We are in a different year, different culture, different expectations. You and I are leading different lives, and our parents led and our grandparents led. Everybody did the best they could at the time. It's about knowing more and growing more and changing with this new information. It's never about blame. It's always about accepting responsibility for where we are and doing the best we can. Maybe you grew up in a family where being busy meant being valuable. Others might have heard, don't just sit there, do something. Or maybe you watched your parents or caregivers never stop, never rest, and that became the model you carried forward. Pause with me here. Let's take a deep breath together. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale through your mouth. When was the last time you felt truly rested? Not just busy, but actually restored. Let me go back and say that again. Not just not busy, but actually restored. Maybe it was waking up after a deep sleep or sitting by water or laughing with friends in a way that filled you up. Just notice what memory comes to mind. For me, the last time I felt truly rested was just a few weeks ago, actually. I went on a long run on a Saturday morning, and I got home and I got in a pair of cozy PJs that my best friend sent me. And my oldest daughter and I curled up in bed and we watched Karate Kid Legends together, and we ate pizza and just ate pizza, curled up, talked about the movie, watched the movie, laughed and cried, and I don't think it did a chore that day. And it felt so nice to just be slow and still with my oldest baby. If you're just tuning in, you're listening to Couch Time with Cat, I'm Cat, and today we're talking about how to learn how to rest well, why it's so hard, and how we can invite it into our lives. And if you're struggling with this, feel free to reach out to me at 956-249-7930. You can leave an anonymous question by calling, voicemail, or voice memo, and I'll answer it on the show. We tend to think of rest as only sleep, but there are so many other forms of rest that we need. Emotional rest. That's giving ourselves permission not to carry it all. Setting down the invisible backpacks full of other people's expectations, worries, and needs. Creative rest. That's stepping away from the constant input so that new ideas can flow in. It's why we often get our best ideas in the shower, on a walk, when we're not consuming or producing social rest. That's spending time with people who fill you up instead of drain you. The ones who let you be yourself without performing. Let me ask you this, listener. What does rest actually mean to you beyond just sleep? Maybe for you, rest looks like sitting outside with your coffee in the morning before the world wakes up. Maybe it's saying no to one more obligation so you can have an evening to yourself. Maybe it's laughter with a friend who just gets you. Here's another one. How can we begin to notice when our soul is tired, not just our body? Maybe you notice it when little things start to irritate you more than usual. Or when you feel numb like you're just going through the motions. Maybe your creativity dries up and you feel disconnected from yourself and the people you love. That's often a sign that it's not just your body that's tired, it's your spirit that's craving rest. And what about this? What are some myths you'd uh like to bust about rest? One of the biggest myths is that rest has to be earned. That we only deserve it when the list is done or the house is clean. Another myth is that rest means doing absolutely nothing. When really rest can also be somewhat active, painting, journaling, or even taking a walk. And maybe the biggest myth of all is that rest is selfish. In truth, when we're rested, we show up better for ourselves and the people we love. If you're just tuning in, you're listening to Couch Time with Cat, I'm Cat, and today we're talking about how to learn to rest well, why it's so hard, and how we can invite it into our lives more. I'll share one of my deepest moments of rest. Didn't happen on vacation or with my eyes closed. I was sitting by the Blanco River just listening to the water, being so incredibly present in nature. I didn't do anything, but I allowed myself just to be. So all the stimulus went away. There was no music, no phone, no computers, no technology. I was just absorbing the presence and the essence of nature and letting myself kind of sink into the present. I didn't have to do anything special, but I walked away lighter for it. I want to share a little uh micro rest practice. So when you have an opportunity, try this. Two minutes of silence before your next meeting, a short walk without your phone, a breath with your hand on your heart. Rest doesn't have to be an all-day retreat. It can be in small pauses. And in fact, I'm a huge advocate for little micro moments of rest because I know we're all busy and I know we can't stop the to-do list. And I know the conveyor belt of life is going to keep on going. But friends, that conveyor belt is gonna take us away if we are not proactive about carving out time for rest. Listener, if you have a question you'd like answered on the show, you can ask it anonymously by calling, texting, or sending a voice memo to 956-249-7930. So, how do we invite rest into our lives? Because it's not just gonna fall in our lap, right? If someone you love struggles with rest, or you struggle with rest, you have guilt around resting, I want you to know you're not alone. Many of us carry this belief that rest has to be earned. But here's a gentle first step: start small. Imagine giving yourself permission to pause just for five minutes. Nothing fancy, no big production. Maybe you sit by a window with a cup of tea, maybe you close your eyes and breathe. It doesn't have to be hours of free time, like we said earlier. Sometimes rest just begins with a sliver of space. We can also create rituals of rest that actually feel realistic. Think about like brushing your teeth. Something you do regularly, not because it's traumatic, but because it sustains you. You don't make a big ritual, a big to-do every time you brush your teeth, right? No. But you do it because you know it's good for you, right? Rest can be the same way. Maybe the ritual is turning your phone on airplane mode after nine o'clock, or lighting a candle before bed, or leaving your desk for a short walk at lunch. Tiny moments can become anchors that tell your body it's okay to slow down. Here's another question. What role does community or relationship play in helping us rest? Wow. So this is really taking this question away from our person and just taking it out a tear or two. Sometimes rest isn't something we can do alone. Maybe it's a partner who reminds us to sit down and eat. Maybe it's a friend who invites us for a walk instead of a meeting. Maybe it's your chosen family creating space where you don't have to perform or explain yourself. Rest can be found in the safety of people who simply let you be. And we can be those people for our friends and family listener. We can be the person who sees and supports and accepts our people just the way they are. So that when they're around us, they feel like they can rest also. I want to invite you into a little visualization. Imagine your life if you gave yourself permission to rest more often. Picture yourself walking through your week with more space between the to-dos, more breath between the conversations. Maybe your mornings feel softer or your evenings feel less rushed. What shifts for you when you're not running on empty, but moving from a place of being restored? Just hold that image for a moment. If you like some more support around this topic, a few resources I want to share with you are Rest is Resistance by Trisha Hersey, a podcast, the NAP Ministry Podcast, and an app, Insight Timer for Guided Rest Practices. And one more reminder: if you have a question you'd like answered on the show, you can ask it anonymously by calling, texting, or sending a voice memo to 956-249-7930. I thought I'd try something new with you this week. So when my clients come to my private practice, I often give them a tiny piece of homework to do. So if you want to participate, I'd love for you to. I thought I'd bring that practice, a tiny bit of homework practice here into Catch Time with Cat. Here's a journal prompt for the week if you'd like to participate. Write down one way you can invite more rest into your life. Not as a reward, but as a piece of nourishment for yourself. And if you try it, share it with me. Tag me on Catch Time with Cat on Instagram or DM me your reflections. I would love to hear from you and weave your voice into this community. As we close, I want to leave you with this thought. We live in a world that keeps asking us to do more, but our bodies, our spirits, our nervous systems, they are telling us, begging us, sometimes yelling at us for a different invitation. Please slow down. Please let go. Please rest. Rest is not a prize we earn at the end of exhaustion. It's something we do to nourish ourselves. It's part of being human. And when we rest, we don't become less. We actually return more to more of who we are. This week, I hope you find a moment, even if it's small, to pause, to put down the list, the phone, the weight you've been carrying, to remind yourself that you are worthy, not because of what you produce, but because you are here. May this week be the week that you breathe more deeply, move a little slower, and let rest be your quiet act of nourishment in a world that glorifies burnout. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gattheahhallam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.