Couch Time With Cat

From Ironman To Inner Peace: How Endurance Training Heals Anxiety, Trauma, And Self-Doubt with Marisa Garcia

• Catia Hernandez Holm

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Welcome! To become a client visit catiaholm.com or call/text 956-249-7930

In this episode, we explore endurance sport as a path to healing, not just performance, and how long efforts rewire our response to fear, shame, and overwhelm. Marisa Garcia shares tools from triathlon and trauma-informed coaching to help us find control inside chaos and know when to pause.

• Endurance movement as moving meditation and trauma repair
• Open-water swim strategies for panic, boundaries, and control
• Rewriting old shame through steady, present miles
• Hydration and fueling as mental health tools on course
• Evolving from finishing to racing and back to joy
• Burnout, identity, and healthy retirement from goals
• How grit in sport transfers to family, conflict, and work
• Practical first steps for choosing an achievable race

*In the show we touch on Ironman distances. We were a little off! Here are the accurate ones:

 Swim

  • Distance: 1.2 miles (1.9 km)
  • Usually in open water: lake, river, or ocean

 Bike

  • Distance: 56 miles (90 km)
  • On paved roads or highway loops

 Run

  • Distance: 13.1 miles (21.1 km)
  • That’s a half marathon to finish

Total Distance: 70.3 miles (113 km)

Participants usually have 8.5 hours to complete the race, with individual cut-off times for each segment.

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Show Guest: 

Marisa Garcia is a Certified Conscious Parenting Coach, Neurodiversity-Informed Mentor, a Level 3 IFS Practitioner and a systems and industrial engineer. 

Her personal healing journey has led her to explore and integrate a range of therapeutic modalities, all rooted in compassion and clarity. Today, she supports individuals and families in deepening their connection to themselves and each other through a heart-centered, trauma-informed lens.

Marisa is also a lifelong learner, a mother navigating neurodiversity, a wife, an athlete, and an artist—all of which inform her rich and relatable approach to healing.

Connect with Marisa at marisagmtz@gmail.com
or follow her on Instagram at @cons.cious.ly

Support the show

Couch Time with Cat isn’t therapy—it’s real conversation designed to support your journey alongside any personal or professional help you're receiving. If you're in emotional crisis or need immediate support, please get in touch with a professional or reach out to a 24/7 helpline like:


  • US: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
  • UK: Samaritans at 116 123
  • Australia: Lifeline at 13 11 14
  • Or find local resources through findahelpline.com


You’re not alone. Let’s take this one honest conversation at a time.

Follow the show and share it with someone who’s ready for healing, hope, and a more empowered way forward.


Show hosted by:

Catia Hernandez Holm, LMFT-A

Supervised by Susan Gonzales, LMFT-S, LPC-S


You can connect with Catia at couchtimewithcat.com

and

To become a client visit- catiaholm.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat.

Speaker 2:

Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, mental wellness with a friendly voice. I'm Cat, therapist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the hill country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. There's something about running long distances or swimming or cycling for hours that has the power to strip everything down. It's just you, your breath, your body, and your mind, and maybe your truth. Today on Couch Time with Cat, we're talking about endurance athletics, not just as a sport, but as a path to healing, growth, and deep mental clarity. A few years ago, I found myself on mile 14 of a long trail run. My legs were tired. My earbuds had run out of battery. And I was alone with nothing but my breath and the rhythm of my feet. Somewhere in that silence, I noticed a part of me, a younger part, that used to feel so powerless. And yet here I was, still moving. And that moment reminded me, sometimes endurance isn't just physical, it's deeply emotional. As someone who runs and trains, I know firsthand the mental health benefits of endurance sports. It's not about medals, not for me. It's about meeting yourself over and over again and choosing to keep going. Research shows that endurance athletics can reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. When we move rhythmically for long periods, the brain releases endorphins, dopamine, and even a protein that supports brain health and emotional regulation. There's a meditative quality to endurance. It slows the mind, calms the nervous system, and creates space for insight. Athletes often describe it as a moving meditation, a state where they feel most connected to self. And from a trauma-informed lens, these moments of presence can gently rewire the stories our bodies carry. My guest today is my friend and colleague Marisa Garcia. She's the founder of Consciously in McCallan, Texas. Marisa is a certified conscious parenting coach, neurodiversity-informed mentor, a level three, internal family systems practitioner, and an industrial and systems engineer. No big deal. Her healing journey led her to experience and study multiple therapeutic modalities, and today she brings a compassionate approach to helping people find clarity and deeper connection within themselves and their family relationships. She's a lifelong learner, a mother navigating neurodiversity, a wife, an athlete, and an artist. Not just any athlete. She's an Iron Man athlete, a world competitor, and somebody who understands endurance from the inside out. Her healing journey has included everything from parenting to performance. And today she brings a holistic, compassionate lens to both. You are now our most frequently featured guest. So I feel like I'm gonna send you a present, an award for that.

Speaker:

Oh my god. Well, it's such a gift. I mean, I'm just enjoying myself with you so much.

Speaker 2:

It's so nice. Okay. Athletics. Okay, so let's get started. Tell me what drew you to Iron Man. Was it Iron Man or another endurance competition at first?

Speaker 1:

I did the 70.3 distance Ironman, which is considered as a half distance Iron Man. So what does that mean? It's a half marathon, it's a 90-mile bike ride, and it's a 1.5 kilometer swim, which is half everything cut in half from a full Iron Man.

Speaker 2:

Good gosh.

Speaker 1:

I never got to the full Iron Man in that stage of my life because I was a new mama. I still was juggling with two little ones at home. So I I said this is endurance enough for me. 70.3.

Speaker 2:

Tell me those numbers again.

Speaker 1:

So total is 70.3 miles.

Speaker 2:

Okay, the run is how long?

Speaker 1:

The run is 13 miles. Okay, the bike ride is 90 miles, and then the swim would be what? I don't let's do the math, but it's 1.5 kilometers. No, no. Uh yes, it's 1.5 kilometers.

Speaker 2:

And is this like a leisurely swim in a neighborhood pool?

Speaker 1:

No, not at all. It's in an open water ocean.

Speaker 2:

So we're talking swim caps, we're talking the whole thing.

Speaker 1:

We're talking swim caps, we're talking people flashing around you, maybe crushing you. Uh, there's people having um panic attacks in the water. No, because usually there's no visibility. That's the worst piece, Catyan. It's the beginning of the race. It's tremendous. So my first triathlons were just neighborhood triathlons. And I just started because I just had a one-year-old baby, and I said, like, I need to feel get back to myself, I need to feel like myself again.

Speaker 2:

That's a big goal for I just need to get back to myself.

Speaker 1:

No, but it started with a tiny sprint triathlon. So build up. Okay.

Speaker 2:

But the first some people, some people are like, I need a pedicure, I need to get back to myself. You were like, I need to do a triathlon.

Speaker 1:

I need to feel that my body is mine.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

After having a baby, and the baby now is one year, one year old. So you've been pregnant for almost one year, then you breastfed, then this baby. So you've been like not in your body for two years.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1:

So I've always loved sports. It's always been for me. You did.

Speaker 2:

Did you play sports growing up?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I did, but I was never a good dancer or gracious nothing. I was just the one in the back, you know, of the stage. So I knew that I always loved running. Since I remember since I was 14 years old saying, I'm gonna go out for a run. Without a without a watch, without anything. I just had 40 minutes, one hour, and I just went for a run with a walkman, you know, and and it felt great. I felt clear after my run. So you had that to pull on exactly. Swimming at school. I remember swimming at school, very basic in Mexico, just being part of my school swim team. It never got serious. And biking, I said, how difficult can it be to just that's what I thought.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then put them together, I said, Well, that's fun. How would that feel? So it was a tiny sprint one. The sprint one is just a very small distance. Uh, that I said, I'm gonna try it. And and I trained with my baby, so everything was like me getting back into my body while training with a stroller, with a little, you know, those things like uh uh the thing you you have on your bike that you have your baby on the back.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yeah, little chair.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, a little trailer. So I bike with my baby, I run with my baby, and my husband will will help me, you know, for two, three times a week go for a swim. But in a pool, which is very different.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh. Okay, so I know that Iron Man isn't just physical, it's mental and emotional. It's about training your mind to stay present, push through pain, manage fear, and just keep showing up day after day and mile after mile. When did it shift from something hard I'm doing to something meaningful that I'm doing? Or did it always start with the meaning for you?

Speaker 1:

No, well, it it started, it started it started physical, like I tell you, like I want to feel that my body belongs to me. I want to feel in shape, so okay, I'll do a little here race. And when I finished it, I just had all this adrenaline kick in, like, wow, and that adrenaline lasted for like a month. Wow, like I like this feeling. What's happening in my body? It's not only about taking care of my baby and doing my daily chores, but there can be space for more. And I'm feeling benefits in myself that are not just physical, like, yeah, my body's changing, but I feel like I'm I'm calmer, I have more bandwidth, I have more space inside, I I I'm clear of mind. So I'm starting to notice these benefits, and I said, I want more of this. So it was not about only this race. Let me just check in what's there more now. Now I have a baseline, and let's see what I can do with this with this fitness level. So that became like a five, six year journey, even more because then I got pregnant with my son. So yeah, it became like a a relationship with with sports, racing, and juggling motherhood at the same time. And I didn't work at a time, so that was like my part-time job for me. Like, this is my time. While I'm training, this is self-care for me. And everything was coming up while I was training. I was checking in with myself, so it became, it it really became a discipline of checking in with myself as I was juggling early motherhood.

Speaker 2:

I can identify big time, and you and I have had private conversations where we're I'm I've shared with you the psychological pain that comes up as you are running these or as I'm running endurance runs. And you really helped me reframe it in a way as things that need to be seen, things that need to be healed, parts of myself that are very uncomfortable. And um listener Marisa and I went on a on a little run. It was a little four-mile run gosh, a few months ago, on South Padre Island. And here's a little bit of an insight. I, when I was in the third grade, I told Marisa this story. I I've told probably many of you this story, but I was the last one. I was tracking last in a class of people who were running around the playground, and that was just our PE. Like, well, that was what we were supposed to do that day in PE. And I was so slow, and being the slowest was so embarrassing. I just couldn't handle it, so I faked an ankle injury. I just like fake, twisted my ankle and had the coach come get me, and it I felt so ridiculous. He carried me off the field, and I was like, oh my god, I'm really taking this lie to the maximum. But when I'm running, I am fighting that memory every single time. Every single time I run, I'm fighting that shame of being slow. So even though I run a lot, I mean I spent I dedicate so much. It is a part-time job. You know, strength and fitness and rest and nutrition. It's not just the running you have to prep for running. I am healing that wound mile after mile. And so it asks things of us physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Speaker 1:

Definitely. And what better way, Catya, to repair than I mean, I cannot imagine there's a better way to repair that wound. It's running, it's about running with you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so it's wild how um how the circle closes, yes, you know, in a very beautiful, elegant way. I didn't become a swimmer, you know, but I was drawn to okay, let's go back and and heal this part. So that's something I've learned about myself. What's something you've learned about yourself through the pain or the fatigue or the silence?

Speaker 1:

Well, the swim part was a big deal for me. Because it was it was the portion of the race. Well, the swim and the bike, but the swim was worse because you have so little control of the environment, the tides, how the oceans gonna be that day. Have no idea. Sometimes the waves were so huge on race day. It could be raining. I mean, and or it could be choppy, or it could be murky. You all you even don't have control on who's uh who's on on your right side, on your left side, in front of you, on the back. You you don't know these people, you don't train with these people.

Speaker 2:

You're just all diving in at the same time.

Speaker 1:

Oh you're totally exposed. And at the same time, and then you have zero visibility, you cannot watch, you cannot see your watch. Well, you could set up some settings so we can vibrate every couple of you know meters. So you know, okay, 500 meters are done, thousand meters are done, and that gave me a sense of safety, like I'm advancing. You could get lost, Catya, because if you don't follow the buoys, you could overswim. No. No, the mental piece of the swim was a huge hurdle for me. And at the beginning of my first years, it was just finish the swim. Finish the swim, get out of the water without trying to escape or grab yourself from a raft or or a kayak because you could get disqualified and you have a time limit. So for me, it was finish the swim. And after finishing the swim was conquered. Now it's finish the swim without panicking. Yes, without panicking, like find yourself, find your rhythm, find safety, find comfort. So I started developing all these little tricks here and there that will provide me safety. Like this is where I like to swim. I like to swim really close to the buoy. Because then my visibility to the buoy is really tight. Like also, you have to be watching, there's no lanes. Be looking out for following the buoys because there's this path, you know, by buoys. So I started developing these little tricks and um and uh hydrate really well before the swim because you get very thirsty, it's salty water, and you can still pee in the ocean, like there's no problem with that. You know, all these things that can make you uncomfortable. And and as that happened, it was like find your rhythm, find your rhythm. And the beauty of the swim is that you're so small in this huge ocean with all these people that are just running towards each other, and somehow you manage to move forward and move forward and find your place and be aggressive enough so nobody would just squeeze you and at the same time respectful enough for others. So there's a lot of boundaries happening there, and uh, it was a whole thing. So for me, like you're talking about the the running, I craved control, you know, throughout my life, and I still I still notice parts of me that that you know love control, so being in the water in a space where you do not have control, and yet you do have of your of your inner world, of your rhythm. You can always swim more aggressively, or you can always swim slower. You can always switch switch to a different style. You can go doggy style if you're panicking, it doesn't matter, but you have visibility for that time and you can play with that. The thing is, you cannot get out of the water, then you will get disqualified. So that was very healing for me. And my last races, I just was embracing the ocean and just kicking people, and I was just having a blast myself, like this is amazing. So, yeah, you do grow with exposition.

Speaker 2:

How many races do you think that you've done, including the mini ones, just any race?

Speaker 1:

I don't remember. I lost track of them because it wasn't about the number, it was about the experience. Really, I don't remember.

Speaker 2:

Give me a but it was like eight years 20, 30, 40, 50.

Speaker 1:

I'll say around no, between between 30-ish, 30, something like that.

Speaker 2:

Okay. I want to give the listener some perspective on how long it takes to get there. Yeah. Because a lot of us think, oh, I'm gonna jump in, I have the school. So when I decided to train for an ultra, I was so naive. And I thought, I've already done a marathon, how hard could an ultra be? Like I knew I was gonna have to apply myself, of course, and I did, and I took my training seriously, but I had no clue what it was gonna ask of me psychologically on race day. So training, like running with other people, conditions being different, um any type of factors, no more music, whatever, falling, you know, all these things I just had not trained for. So I am now less naive. And I'm reflecting back, I can see that in my first Ultra, it was like I was like, um my fists were clenched. I had to get through, and all my motivational stuff was about getting through. Okay. And something that I remember writing, which is it sounds like something you said earlier about not panicking, I wrote, stop looking for a way out. So in the middle of the run, you know, what if I just, you know, because that's my third grade self. How can I fake an ankle injury and get out of this mess? So when I told myself, stop looking for a way out, Catya, you're gonna run the 10 miles or whatever the training was that day, you're gonna do it. So stop wasting your energy looking for a way out, just commit. So that was a that was a step. And now I am in the let me finish and not panic. Okay, so I'm early on, but now I can see a little bit of progress in reflection, an evolution, it will be an evolution and it builds up on yes, yes. And so for the listener who's thinking, ooh, maybe I want to do an endurance sport, do it. Just know it's a craft, you're going to have to dedicate lots of time and mental energy to get to the point where Marisa's saying that she ended, which was, you know, she was comfortable in the ocean, she was comfortable in her body, she was having fun.

Speaker 1:

That came, I mean, at the end, and then I got fast, and then I qualified, you know, to the world. Yeah, chips. Tell me about qualifying.

Speaker 2:

Tell me about qualifying.

Speaker 1:

But that's way, way, way, way, way later, Catya. Because it's an evolution. At the beginning, I didn't want to be fast because I didn't want to feel out of control. So my husband told me, because we did it as a couple. So my husband told me, You're faster than that. Why did you race that way? And I was because I'm happy. I just want to end the race happy and in one piece. And you see me in one piece. I was smiling all along the way. It was like that's not racing. And I was like, it is for me. So for him, it's like you have to go to the limit because that's his way of racing, but it was not mine. So for me to dare to go to the limit and cry in a race, that was at the end. Like, I'm gonna test myself and it's gonna be fine. I'm not gonna die.

Speaker 2:

So it took you eight years to get to that part.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yeah, and it's a lot of time and dedication. But then you're amazed of I'm way bigger than I really thought I could. I never, ever, ever imagined these results. Like, I was just limiting myself, but I I I'm just daring myself to try, and it's fine, I won't die. But there's parts of you that think they will die.

Speaker 2:

That's the deep inner healing that you experienced as your races progressed. Like, I am bigger, and when I experience that bigness, I won't die. You're unstoppable. How has the endurance, whether it's swimming or running or biking, how has that connected you to your inner parts?

Speaker 1:

With time, Catya, my whole race, and I know you it happens to you the same. It was a journey, the race was a journey that will just sum up where I was standing in my life at the moment. So they just started showing up, all these parts of me that had doubt, grief, sadness. Uh, you know, they just started taking turns during the race, and as I just welcomed them and had a conversation with them without panicking. Hey, like what's going on? And even I mean, the self-doubt is terrible. The one that wants to stop the race is terrible, but here comes the piece of the of the body. Like, are you hydrating yourself? Are you nourishing yourself? Like the you cannot ever ignore the body. So, body, mind, and spirit, they're so connected, and you have to be checking in with the with all of these different dimensions to your body. Because if you're dehydrated, chances are that you're gonna go start going crazy and the most intense parts of you will come up. So you have to have your body on check and your numbers as you trained to try to keep your mind, you know, in this more harmonious state where you can really have these dialogues. Because if the body's not on check as you trained and within your numbers, then you know you're gonna get into all these extreme conversations with yourself and it could be hell.

Speaker 2:

Could be hell. It sounds like you're really busy while you're you're mentally very busy while you're while you're swimming or training.

Speaker 1:

You are you're you're very busy because you're going back and forward, checking all, you know, hydration, nutrition, watch, and then having this dialogue with yourself and going back and forward.

Speaker 2:

Wow, it's it's a party in there.

Speaker 1:

It's a party. I mean, I I know you you understand this, right?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes. This might not have been your experience, but what would you say to somebody who is pursuing an athletic goal and started by really just having fun and now they feel kind of burnt out and like they're not doing enough and maybe they're not good enough. What would you say to them?

Speaker 1:

And they want to quit it, or what do you mean?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Or they're still or they're still training.

Speaker 2:

They're still training, but they don't have that joy because they just feel more like they should be doing it, or like if they give up, they're gonna be quitters, and who likes that? And they're just having a complicated relationship with the training and with the goal.

Speaker 1:

Well, I will see I would see the the endurance sport as a relationship you have in your life, like you see it in therapy. What are you trying to prove with with this relationship that you have? Why can't you quit it? What would happen if you quit? Then I'm nobody, then I'm nobody, I'm invisible. I would have no stats, no scores, no medals, no pictures.

Speaker 2:

I disappear.

Speaker 1:

I would disappear, and I would be very curious. Like, why are you still there? Now I knew in my time, I'm a retired endurance athlete. I knew when retirement was right for me, and I knew it was healthy, like the sport has provided me what I needed, and right now it's not feeling right to continue because it's a part-time job. Oh my god, and and I need more energy and more time and more availability for other areas of my life, and I did went, I did go through that for like a year. Like, should I train less? Should I cut down? Should I go to another distance? Should I, I don't want to stop cold turkey because this sport gives me so much, provides me so much. So I had like a year of of that, you know? And then I knew like I I knew when my last race was, and I loved it. And I embraced it and I was just like a relationship.

Speaker 2:

Yes, like a last hurrah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And then I said, maybe I'll come back to you, but just give me a couple of years. Because I have other projects in my life that I really if I'm still with you, this project cannot cannot bloom because the energy.

Speaker 2:

Yes. I I think generally I probably spend I'm just I haven't even ever put pen to paper, but 15 hours a week. For sure. Maybe minimum. So 15 extra hours on top of work.

Speaker 1:

And the energy.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. So I noticed that when I sign up for a goal, you know, I'm a mom, you're a mom. When I sign up for a goal, my whole family kind of signs up too, even though I don't ask them if it's okay. And so as a mom, I'm 42. I think. I don't know. I think I'm 42. I have an 11 and an eight-year-old. I'm a wife. And so I thought, oh, I'm I thought what you're feeling. I need this has been good for right now. Okay. I'm gonna pause and I'm gonna just be like a regular person who goes to Pilates or whatever is normal and not have to plan out my nutrition days in advance so that I can reroute the energy to my family. Because if I don't do that, like right now they need me more than I need endurance sports. And so that is also a negotiation for people doing endurance sports. What parts of your life really need you and can you afford to make that investment?

Speaker 1:

And also, Catya, what does endurance sports provide you that you can find elsewhere?

Speaker 2:

Have you been able to find anything like that elsewhere? You have?

Speaker 1:

I have, I have. I mean, I'm still an athlete, I still swim. The only thing I don't do is I bike because where I live, it's very dangerous. So my bike is really hanging in my garage. But I still swim, I still run. Now I incorporated yoga, and I I just move, you know, juggle between the three. I need movement.

Speaker 2:

Most definitely. Yes. I'll never not need movement.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I need movement, but what is what was racing providing me? What was racing providing me? It was a deep sense of self, a deep connection within myself, developing a dialogue, uh befriending myself, and a deep knowing that I am big, more expansive, and stronger than what I think, or than what my parts think. And my parts need some sort of proof to believe me.

Speaker 2:

So and what's that proof?

Speaker 1:

Well, right now I'm I I I'm uh IFS practitioner, so but I still need movement and I still so it's developing that inner relationship within myself on a daily basis and incorporating movement, and if I need adrenaline, I can find it.

Speaker 2:

Where do you find adrenaline?

Speaker 1:

Well, where do you find it? Just right now with racing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I find adrenaline. Truly, I have to go find it in nature, whether it's like I asked my family to go skiing. I had never been skiing before, snow skiing. We all went. Um, so I find it doing putting my body in a position where it's never been before. Um, that and like really pushing myself, that's where I feel alive. Whether it's jumping off a diving board 40 feet high, whether it's skydiving, I need my body needs to be in the movement for me to feel adrenaline.

Speaker 1:

There you go. Then that's a source of adrenaline.

Speaker 2:

Let's go all go skydiving.

Speaker 1:

You can close if you stop ultra racing, you can always go skydiving here and there. You know, just to keep the adrenaline going.

Speaker 2:

Skydiving workshop.

Speaker 1:

What is what is this providing in my life? That if I get injured, my life changes, uh I need to, you know, switch it up a little bit, I will not become depressed because I stopped ultra racing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, it can't be so much of your identity that when or if it needs to be put on a shelf that you crumble, just like anything, right? We can't put in our identity in our beauty or in our educational achievements or in our spouse, whatever it is, anything external that's always at risk.

Speaker 1:

And you have found the balance, and now you're at to a level that your body is taking you so hard to get there.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

It feels like I've come all this way. No, no, no. I get it, and I'm not saying you have to leave it, no, not at all. But but there's always for me, it was like it you have served your purpose for this moment of my life, and if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be as healthy, as strong, as clear. Like, thank you so much, Triathlon. Like, I love you. And this is this is how I felt towards towards my racing. But it was just a full circle, and and I'll get back to it whenever it feels right.

Speaker 2:

What has what did all your training teach you that you're truly capable of?

Speaker 1:

Wow, so much, so much, because I was just so loyal to my beliefs of myself, and they were all very limiting, but they were all very fear-based. Like, don't get there, don't try that. Don't even, for example, the bike. No, no, no, no. If you get a flat tire, like your race is done. No, I learned to I learned to change flat tires. And when I I was so codependent on racing with my husband because he took all care of all the mechanics of my bike, and he was my personal mechanic, and I loved that, but it got to a point that we had to swap. So, okay, you'll stay with the kids, I'll go race because we both loved it, and then we were both like, I want to qualify, so I'm gonna do this A race, so I want zero distractions, no kids here. So we got very serious, Catya, with the years, and and and what happened was that you know, I'm capable of all this, and I love it. I love feeling this power, you know, that these were just beliefs. So a lot of lessons I could stay here forever with you, but yeah, at the end of the day, I ended up um packing my bike on a bag, traveling across the country, opening the bag, and really, you know, getting my bike together again. You had to assemble it on the bike, a bike for a race, so it couldn't be like wobbly, no, for race. Wow, and all these things you have to uh to to put yourself out there because a lot of trust in yourself.

Speaker 2:

That's a big deal.

Speaker 1:

I love that, and that's a big deal, and then it's like, no, no, no, like go go with a mechanic. And my husband told me, no, because those mechanics don't care, they're just building a zillion bikes. You're gonna care more, so do it yourself. Maybe go with him to give it a uh a final check if everything's in place, but you do it, all these little little things, uh, figuring out problem solving, and like you, I wanted to end the race in one piece. I didn't want to end the race, you know, crawling to the finish line.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, so I bet the confidence that that built in you over the years was nobody can take that away from you. You worked so hard, you learned all these skills, you grew, you're so competent in so many areas that you, I'm sure, can then take that competence, that feeling, and that's transferable. You know, you know you can then do something hard somewhere else.

Speaker 1:

Now, at the same time as I was an endurance athlete, I was having a very hard family time. I had daily tantrums in my house. My mother was going, you know, through a mid-life crisis. So personally, I had all this mess that I didn't know how to deal with it. So while I was racing, I felt this power and this you're bigger than this, and I mean there's no limit, and all this was happening, so I did bring back this energy to my personal life, so that's why I needed triathlon because in that moment of my life, I was so confused, I didn't have much tools, that the tools were provided by the sport. That was before conscious parenting, that was before IFS, that was before. Now I know that it was really the same. But that's how I got the tools in my life.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes. I completely identify. I feel like something that I've always had a really hard time with is conflict.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I shut down, i.e., I look for a way out, i.e., I roll my ankle. So what running has done for me, and I cut I feel it, I literally feel it in my brain. It has taught me to sit with discomfort and not run away. And I can now bring conflict to people I love and say, I don't like that. Or I can listen to them tell me, I don't like that you did that. And I sit there and listen. And before I did not have that skill.

Speaker 1:

Well, Catia, you're a family therapist. Yeah, you're sitting with conflict. You have the capacity, but it wasn't my conflict, exactly.

Speaker 2:

So I can sit and see, and I can hold other people's pain and all that stuff, but with me, I just wanted to. I just one time I was driving with my husband. We were actually going to our anniversary dinner, so it wasn't that long ago, and he was telling me something and I didn't like it, and I was angry at him and annoyed. And um, I was calm. I was in my body, and I looked at him and I said, Well, the progress is that I don't want to jump out of the car. And he said, What do you mean? Jump out of the car. Oh, yeah. You understand that. I said, Well, up until now, if we would have had a conversation like this, I would have wanted to jump out of the car, like moving car, whatever, like get me out of here. And he was like, Well, happy anniversary. But I knew for me, that is big, big progress. I can sit with somebody else's disappointment in me. That's huge. And not want to just shrivel up and die. So, and vice versa, you know, I can tell somebody I love you, but this really hurt my feelings, or you know what have you. I can a hundred percent attribute that to trail running because I have to sit in the discomfort for hours and keep going. And it has changed my brain.

Speaker 1:

Definitely, definitely. It's a it's the experience that is healing you, it's not a talk therapy. Correct. It's the experience, it's taking you to the a corrective experience that will get registered in your nervous system. And that definitely that texture to it, that it just stays. And then when you're back in your personal life and that gets triggered, it's like, whoa, there's another way.

Speaker 2:

I've been here before and I know how to do this. Exactly. Marisa, for someone listening who has never done an endurance event, but is curious and is feeling called, what do you think the first step would be?

Speaker 1:

A short race. I would start with a short race. Something accomplished that you can accomplish because you want the experience. And you want to have a sense of accomplishment. You're in for the experience. If you want to take a picture, show the medal, like that's the cherry on the top of the pie. But you're there for the experience. So something accomplishable, you can do a, you know, a three-mile run, you can do just the neighborhood thing for volunteer, I mean, for supporting a cause you believe in, something like that. And then check in with your body what happens when you cross the finish line. And what happens later in the following week? I would start there. Just notice what happens later. What did that race bring to your life? What did the experience give you as a lesson, as a life lesson?

Speaker 2:

Listener, you heard it here first. Sign up for something, a race you can accomplish, and focus on the experience of it, and then notice with that experience, how it reverberates in your life. Marisa, thank you for showing us that being an athlete isn't just about speed or strength, it's about presence, persistence, and heart. Where can people follow you and reach out if they have questions?

Speaker 1:

Well, I have coached funny, but I have coached some athletes.

Speaker 2:

No, you have not.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know that. Then come to me because they're in a burnout. Marisa, I would love for you to be my coach. We talk about the the emotional aspect to it. We talk about the relationship they have with the sport. Why did they get into the sport? When did they start? Oh, you buried the bleed, Marisa. It's it's fun. It's fun because even though I'm retired, I get it. I know, and I love it, and I love the adrenaline. And but there's this mental piece that if it's not on check, you will not perform physically. So, I mean, they could you have my email, Catya. Um, my social media, uh, the listener tells me we'll leave it in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

I cannot believe she is dropping an exclusive right now that she is a coach for athletes. Oh my goodness. Okay. Well, I guess I maybe have to do one more race so you can be my coach.

Speaker 1:

We can go over the journey together.

Speaker 2:

Whether you're training for life, a triathlon, a neighborhood, 5K, just know that we are here with you. You are not alone, and endurance is a quiet kind of power, and you will be able to take that power with you into every area of your life. Listeners, thank you so much for being here. Until next time, take good care of this. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gottyahollam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.

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Catia Hernandez Holm

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