Couch Time With Cat

Parent The Child In Front Of You, Heal The Child Within You with Marisa Garcia

• Catia Hernandez Holm

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To schedule a session visit catiaholm.com or call 956-249-7930.

We explore self-led parenting through IFS with Marisa Garcia, moving from control to attunement and from managing behavior to meeting needs. We share real stories, the U-turn practice, and how repair after blowups builds trust and capacity in the family.

• why fixing and managing often miss the child’s need
• IFS basics in parenting: managers, firefighters, exiles
• the U-turn: turn inward before responding
• curiosity over the “spoiled kid” narrative
• parts party dynamics during homework battles
• repair steps after yelling or withdrawing
• fear of belonging driving control at home
• accepting our child’s uniqueness without panic
• how kids mirror our exiled parts
• practical language for boundaries and pacing
• contact details for Marisa and ways to connect

Show Guest: 

Marisa Garcia is a Certified Conscious Parenting Coach, Neurodiversity-Informed Mentor, a Level 3 IFS Practitioner and a systems and industrial engineer. 

Her personal healing journey has led her to explore and integrate a range of therapeutic modalities, all rooted in compassion and clarity. Today, she supports individuals and families in deepening their connection to themselves and each other through a heart-centered, trauma-informed lens.

Marisa is also a lifelong learner, a mother navigating neurodiversity, a wife, an athlete, and an artist—all of which inform her rich and relatable approach to healing.

Connect with Marisa at marisagmtz@gmail.com
or follow her on Instagram at @cons.cious.ly

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Couch Time with Cat isn’t therapy—it’s real conversation designed to support your journey alongside any personal or professional help you're receiving. If you're in emotional crisis or need immediate support, please get in touch with a professional or reach out to a 24/7 helpline like:


  • US: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
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  • Or find local resources through findahelpline.com


You’re not alone. Let’s take this one honest conversation at a time.

Follow the show and share it with someone who’s ready for healing, hope, and a more empowered way forward.


Show hosted by:

Catia Hernandez Holm, LMFT-A

Supervised by Susan Gonzales, LMFT-S, LPC-S


You can connect with Catia at couchtimewithcat.com

and

To become a client visit- catiaholm.com

Speaker 2:

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat.

Speaker:

Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, Mental Wellness with a Friendly Voice. I'm Cat, therapist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the Hill Country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear. You're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. Last week I watched a mom at the park quietly take a breath as her little one melted down over a broken granola bar. Instead of rushing to fix it or distract, she knelt down eye to eye and said, That's so hard, huh? It was such a small thing, but it stopped me. Because that's the moment we all crave to be seen and not managed. As parents, that's the hardest and holiest work we do. Choosing to be with our child's pain instead of trying to make it disappear. But to do that, we have to know what's happening inside of us first. The urge is to fix, control, or rescue. Today we're unpacking what those parts of us are really trying to do and how to lead from the self, not from fear, anxiety, or shame. From an internal family systems lens, or IFS, we all have parts, protective parts that step in when we feel threatened or out of control. In parenting, these often show up as manager parts, the fixer, the planner, the organizer, the controller. These parts aren't bad. They're trying to protect us from the younger, more vulnerable parts, the ones that once felt unlovable, unseen, or powerless. And neuroscience backs us up. When we pause and notice these parts with curiosity instead of reacting to them, we move out of our fight or flight brain and into the part of us that can connect, empathize, and stay grounded. My guest today is Marisa Garcia, co-founder of Consciously in McCallan, Texas. Marisa is a certified conscious parenting coach, neurodiversity informed mentor, and level three IFS practitioner. Her healing journey led her to experience and study multiple therapeutic modalities. And today she brings a compassionate approach to helping people find clarity and deeper connection within themselves and their family relationships. She identifies as a lifelong learner, a mother navigating neurodiversity, a wife, an athlete, and an artist. Bienvenida! Welcome back, Marisa.

Speaker 2:

Gracias, Scratya. Happy to be here.

Speaker:

I'm so glad that you're here. Listener, you may have heard Marisa's first show. If you haven't, go back and listen. She helps us break down IFS, what IFS is, and how we can use it as a tool in our lives. And I highly recommend going and listening to that show and then jumping back into this show. Okay, so Marisa, talk to me about self-led parenting. What does that even mean?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm working on that myself. I have a 14-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old boy, uh, both neurodiverse, so you can imagine they have social challenges, academic challenges, uh self-regulation challenges. They're very highly sensitive, and I have a gifted son. So making sense of what my parenting journey should be has been a challenge because I always thought that my job as a mom was to take my child from point A to point B. If I see my child struggling, I need to fix this, I need to help them. This is what is expected from you. So let's break it down in steps. But this is very operational, very managerial. And what I've discovered throughout my parenting journey is that sometimes that's not what my children need from me. That's not what my children are asking for. That's what really helps me be okay with their challenges, with their big emotions, with what they're going through. So it's discerning. Is it about me or is it about them? How am I showing up every single day? So it makes me feel better, or because it's what my child, meeting my child where he or she is? So self-led parenting is shifting. Uh the the let's say it's about shifting the purpose of what our job as a parent should be instead of fixing, managing, controlling. What if it's about attuning and being available to hold our children while they are growing up? Hold these big emotions, hold these tantrums, hold this dysregulation so they can develop the skill, not because what happens is that when I cannot handle my child being as they are, what I'm telling them, the message my child gets is I cannot be myself because then my mom is not okay. So it's shifting the I'm okay, you being how you are. I'm gonna take care of myself, of my parts that show up while I'm in relationship with you. So later I can really be with you, hold you, at tune with you. So I don't know if this makes sense or I just extend it too long on the answer.

Speaker:

No, no, no, no. It makes total sense. Talk to me about. So you said, okay, so as a parent, the manager part, let's say, steps in to help the parent feel better, but not necessarily, that's not necessarily accomplishing the child feeling better.

Speaker 2:

That's right.

Speaker:

Okay. What is a u-turn?

Speaker 2:

A u-turn means that, okay, let's say I'll give you an example. So uh I'll I'll give you a my daily example. My son, he has ADHD, so he's very jumpy, he's he's very fidgety, uh, his hands are everywhere. He's trying to soothe and regulate himself, he's sensory seeking. I am sensory avoiding. So he's trying to down-regulate his system when he comes out of school because he has had one of those days. What is a U-turn? His screaming, his jumpiness, his dysregulation. What's happening inside of me? So what I do instead of shutting him down, that would be the reaction. Instead of just stop it, you're acting like crazy. This, look what other people will think of you. I mean, those would be just parts from taking kid from point A to point B. This is not right. And I would use shaming. I would use just to so my son would tone it down. U-turn means that I can say, okay, can you stay a little longer with this discomfort? What's happening inside of me, Marisa? And while my son is jumping and bouncing in the walls, I just stretch it a little more and notice myself. Wow, this is so much. I'm sensory avoiding, and he's just my system. I've just been here with him for five, 10 minutes, and my system right now is so flooded. That's the U-turn. So I'm really focusing the attention instead of fixing and turning down the fire, like we talk about the firefighters. I'm just noticing what's coming up inside of me.

Speaker:

So the U-turn is back to self.

Speaker 2:

Back to self.

Speaker:

Turning your energy and awareness inward with curiosity, with curiosity. And is it also helping yourself, like having compassion for yourself in that moment, helping yourself feel better, or is it just the awareness?

Speaker 2:

Well, it starts with the awareness. It starts with the awareness. And if my parts say, like, this is too much, please help us. Okay, how can I help you? This is myself. What do you need from me? Maybe you can step out of the room for a little bit. Take a breath. Step out of the room because if you stay in the room, you're gonna start screaming or you're gonna start shaming the kid. You don't want that. Okay, I'll step out of the room. Like he can keep bouncing there. I'll step out of the room and give me five. And then maybe I can tell my child, hey honey, I need a breath. And that's okay. I step out of the room. So yeah, I mean, it starts with awareness and then with conscious action.

Speaker:

What do you say to people who would say because everybody's on their journey of awareness, right? But there are people out there who would say, that's just you're you're spoiling your kid. Like, like he's just and I want to take it away actually from Santiago, because I don't want to even say it as an example. So let's just say there's a child out there who's jumpy, and the mom says, Okay, I need five. What do you say to the people, or what would be a good response or good context, or just providing a little more insight into well, that kid's just spoiled. You can't control your kid, and you walking out is letting letting the kid win.

Speaker 2:

Okay. Well, that's a part.

Speaker:

Oh, tell me about that.

Speaker 2:

That's a part that has beliefs that are that has ideas, that maybe has loyalties. So I would be really curious. Why like interview that part? Why do you believe that he's spoiled? Maybe you didn't get that from your parents.

Speaker:

Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2:

I mean, nobody gave you a breath. I don't know. I don't know what your system will come up with, but I would be very curious with that voice that is telling you you just have a spoiled breath.

Speaker:

Wow, that is so powerful, Marisa. Wow, what a Catya. It is crazy, right? It is so profound, it feels like just so deep and peaceful in my body because you didn't respond with that person's wrong. You didn't say what a weirdo. You didn't say, like, you didn't come back with any insult or any anything that is reactionary, right? You came back with, well, let's get curious about that. Which sometimes I think that people in who are not in our line of work make a lot of judgments about the work that we do. And we're also human. And so sometimes I think it's easy to react from a from a part, as you're saying, from a defensive part, and maybe not give that gracious of an answer or that gracious of a perspective. But I think that's beautiful and healing, and that's the way it should be.

Speaker 2:

It's curiosity, yeah, it's openness, it's openness. Like, whoa, why do you think you're you this is spoiling your child? Why do you why do you feel that way? I'm so curious. And then this part will respond because he's so entitled. Oh, tell me more. Why do you believe he's so entitled? Because he doesn't respect you. Oh, and how does that make you feel? It feels like I'm nobody in my house. Oh, tell me more. How long have you felt this way since I was four? There you go. It's this part of you that is younger that feels so disrespected by your child, that his actions and him being so loud and noisy and not respectful for your boundaries, it's making you feel this way.

Speaker:

Does that make sense? Oh my god, yes. And as a parent, when you've done your own IFS work, at least a little bit, you can identify yourself, you can identify when you're coming from a part, and so it creates so much more space in between you and the reaction. You get enough time to respond and not just be in a volley, like in a tennis volley match with parts. I know there's a quote that you love about parenting and parts.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'll read it to you because I want to go back.

Speaker:

Please, yes.

Speaker 2:

Which it just gives me so much meaning to my parenting journey because this is where I am. And I I often, I often, since I told you I have a critical part. This critical part sometimes screams at me like, why did you mess this up again? Why didn't you get it right? You should know better. Come on, you've read all these things, you're working on all this stuff, and look what just happened. Okay, so it's like I'm just uh like giving myself such a hard time each time. I don't get it right with my kids, which is quite often, Catia. I'm a human, I'm on a hilary. Yes, okay, and this is why I offer this work because I'm doing the work for myself. And I once thought you cannot offer any services if you don't have your life on check.

Speaker:

That's a myth.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, that's a myth. And then I understood this is why you can see people because you get it, because you're there. So, well, this quote, what it says is when we parent from a part, it is as if we're handing our children an invitation to react to us from a part of them. We're contributing to the behavior we hope to avoid. So it becomes a parts party.

Speaker:

Gosh, yes, yes, I bet a lot of people can can remember a time when they reacted to their child and their child reacted back in a strong way, and it never feels good, and the child behaves exactly as we don't want them to behave.

Speaker 2:

That's very frustrating because your parts get even more triggered and more triggered, and and then they get even more anchored in their strategy. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I'll tell you my homework example is perfect. Like, I'm like, hey, honey, it's 4 p.m. You can do your homework now. This is my part. Do it now, so then we're free. And you can do this and that, and arts and crafts, and I'll cook dinner. Okay. I'm not noticing that my child talking about the fine attunement is burnout from school. It's not their time. They cannot, he he or she cannot do homework at 4 p.m. She needs some quiet time. Maybe she needs to go to volleyball practice first and then she will get the homework done. But Marisa's parts want to check it off the list because that's not at home, and I don't want to deal with that at 8 p.m. at night. So the more these parts have an agenda and the more pushy I get, guess what happens? She starts losing time, she starts doing whatever. Uh, or she has the homework in front of her and she does nothing. And my parts get even, hey, you have volleyball practice at six, you have to get it done. They get even more pushier, pusier, and she gets even more laid back.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

So that's what it means. The more you operate from a part, then the kid will react and respond with a part of theirs trying to tell you something. I feel so unseen. You don't respect my time. You don't respect my time limits. Like you're not attuned to my nervous system. Like, I need to tell you something, and they will tell it to you with behavior.

Speaker:

Yeah. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about self-led parenting. If you have a question you'd like to ask anonymously, you can call or text 956-249-7930, and I'll answer it on the show. For those listening, I just want uh to take a little moment and offer a brief activity. So think of a moment this week when you felt the urge to fix or control your child's behavior. What might that part of you have been protecting? So let me ask that again. Think of a moment this week when you felt the urge to fix or control your child's behavior. What might that part of you have been protecting? So your part was trying to come to the rescue and fix what was happening. What part of you was that trying to protect? Let's move on to what happens when yelling and threatening and withdrawing. You were saying earlier, like we start to really anchor in, we start to get really pushy. And then we've all experienced the moments when we have these explosions. And it feels horrible. Right? We've yelled at our child, they've yelled at us, maybe we've said things we don't mean. It's just a horrible feeling. What then? What do we do then?

Speaker 2:

I would I would do the U-turn, Catya, first. Before going back to your child. So now I mean the volcano has just erupted. You know you didn't get it right. Take a take a moment and do a u-turn and really check in what really happened inside of me. Why what was I feeling when my daughter was rejecting me? So I have an adolescent 14-year-old, and she she right now is in that stage that she locks herself up in her room with a lock and everything, and I'm talking through the door, you know.

Speaker:

Buy a new doorknob.

unknown:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no. And if I take the lock off, it's gonna burn fire here. So these days that it's been too much. Like I do allow you to have your private time, but it feels like it's too much. So imagine, I mean, and this is a this is another example of my life because I have plenty to share. Uh it's a Saturday. I decided to stay home with my daughter. My son and husband went on a surfing getaway. And I said, I'm gonna stay with her. Let's have girl time because this is what she wants. Super divide and conquer. So I stay home, I get my stuff done, and she's still in her room and still in her room, and still in her room. So after a while, like, hey, like I'm knocking at the door, and and she just responds in a not very nice way, you know. What do you want for that? And I'm like, oh. So open the door, and after some while, what happens? I lash out. What do I say? Hey, you, you just think about yourself. I stayed here for you. You want nothing to do with me. I mean, I'm here for you. I would rather be on the island than here in my house. I would love to have some fresh air. And so I start saying all these hurtful things to my daughter. You don't care about me. And maybe, I mean, you just think about yourself, you're such so self-absorbed, and you can continue. Okay, yes, until it's like, whoa, this is too much. Like, you're just burning the child alive. So here's this little 14-year-old, like, okay, mom, what do you want to do?

Speaker:

Like, okay, and complete fun. She's like, whatever you want.

Speaker 1:

What do you want to do? Do you want to go have lunch? Do you want to go to the mall? Like, what do you want to do? So the U-turn.

Speaker 2:

And it took a while. It's not immediate, Akati. So yeah, we went out, and while I was driving, I was like checking in with my body. What really happened? Marisa, what really happened while she was rejecting you? Not opening the door to you. So I felt so rejected. And so like she doesn't value me, she doesn't see me. You know, and she's she's a teenager. This is what they do. But this charge, Catya, this charge that's a whole other story. That's my that's my trauma. That just gave it so much charge to a thing that could have been managed differently without the screaming, the shaming, and the the just burning the child down. That charge, get very curious about the charge, because charge means there's a personal burden behind it, there's a personal story, a wound.

Speaker:

As you're saying, burning the child down, that is hitting so profoundly for me because words are powerful. And when we direct them at these little people that we have been entrusted with, these little children, and we have fed them applesauce and paquitos and oatmeal and you know, like over their life we have raised them. And then when our parts get triggered, we then turn so ugly. And it does feel it it does feel like burning them down, but causing them harm, harm in an effort to make ourselves feel better. That feels so backward.

Speaker 2:

It's it's very twisted. That's why Gate, I started studying conscious parenting six years ago, because I started noticing these parts of me, and I said, This is not right.

Speaker:

That's the same reason I started.

Speaker 2:

Why am I lashing out this way? Because I love her. Why is this coming up as vomit? Because it's very unconscious, it you cannot hold it. It's I'm sorry for the expression, but that's how it feels.

Speaker:

Yes, completely. I started um, our oldest has sensory issues, and um they fluctuate, you know, as she grows. But as a young mother, I didn't know what to do. I I didn't even know that that was a thing. So it was a quite a journey to figure out what a sensory issue even was. But that's how I found conscious parenting also, because I thought this is not me. What is happening? Like, who do I become? So there was this example where, or an example I want to share is she was having a tantrum, you know, like a normal child. And all I was trying to do was make that tantrum go away because I didn't want to be the mom in the park who had a kid who was kicking and screaming. I was embarrassed, I was ashamed, and I had no tools. I literally, now I would handle it so differently. Now I wouldn't have any shame about it. Now, when I see a mom and there's a child or mom or a dad and a child is having a tantrum, I just think, oh man, kids having a rough day. I bet that's really hard for the parent, too. I have a lot of compassion. But in my own head as a young mother, I felt inept. And I thought, God, I just can't get this kid under control. And it's so interesting because they're so little, so you think that you can control them because their size is so small, but that's just not true. So it is parenting can be so healing and profound and can help you unfold in so many ways if you let it, and it's the only relationship that you cannot run away from, oof, and you have to show up every single day, and they will uncover your deepest wounds for sure.

Speaker 2:

So if you if you want to be for them, first you have to learn how to be with you. There's no other way, Catya. That's why I started studying because I said, How am I gonna tell my daughter, stay calm, honey, when I'm calm?

Speaker:

Yes, like I have fire inside of me. This is so uncomfortable. Yes, I remember what I thought was mastery was a complete crock of crap. Was that I was like burning on the inside and like Calm on the outside.

Speaker 2:

But what do you think your daughter grasps on or absorbs? The burning inside, not the calmness.

Speaker:

Oh, 100% because my jaw was locked. I mean, I was, I guess you could say I was still on the outside, but my energy, of course, was complete radiating anger, frustration, or you know, overwhelm. Friends, I'm a therapist, and uh this this may seem really bizarre that I'm sharing with you all these, what I think are like broken pieces of my experience. But this is what makes us good helpers, is that we have walked through the fire, we figured out a way out, and out or through, and we keep going back and we're keep we keep allowing ourselves to heal, and we keep allowing ourselves to grow and be curious, and that is so courageous. I mean, I'll pat myself on the back, I'll pat you on the back too, because this is not an easy journey.

Speaker 1:

It's a journey.

Speaker:

Oh gosh, yes, parenting with intention and parenting in this emotionally attuned way. Man, that's a tall order.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, it's a whole other level of monster, it really is, and you know, to parenting parenting retreats. I just came back from one. Guess how many people showed up?

Speaker:

No, tell me, it were 10.

Speaker 2:

It was such an intimate, beautiful retreat. You know why? Because looking at your parenting journey is so confronting, Catya. It's so so confronting. But if you're able to be curious about your relationship with your children as a uh a pathway to go back to yourself and learn more and repair yourself about what your system is really needing, then that will translate automatically. You don't have to do anything into just having more capacity to being able to hold your child when they're going through something big. That capacity is not in the mind. That capacity is like you're an athlete, it's built upon with every little step along the way and every crisis and going back inside. So parenting is a pathway to profound, profound healing if you wanna see it that way.

Speaker:

You're listening to Couch Time with Cat, and I'm Cat, and today we're talking about self-led parenting. If you have a question you'd like to ask anonymously, you can call or text 956-249-7930, and I'll answer it on the show. It really feels like Maddisa and I could be here for hours. I mean, wow. I feel like I'm like, come back again. So let's bring it to earlier. You said it can be a really healing path if you let it. And the parts of ourselves of ourselves that we're healing, are those our exiled parts? Yes. Okay. Can you tell us about that a little bit?

Speaker 2:

The managerial protective parts are the ones running the show, they're the ones running the day by day and trying to keep everything running so as smooth as possible. But the healing journey is about those like why don't I accept my children for who they truly, truly are? So I feel like there's a rejection there. I feel like I I don't like her body type. I feel like I'm judging her capacity and intelligence. I feel like his processing speed is not as fast as I would like it to be. So you start noticing all this. Okay.

Speaker:

And hold on, let's pause there for a second. Because that takes a lot of courage to admit those things to yourself. Yes. That I think there are a lot of people out there who would never even admit that to themselves. And I'm not judging you for not having courage to do that. I mean, I think that those. Yes, to say this kid isn't the kid I thought I was gonna get.

Speaker 2:

And there's this part that had this agenda of my parenting journey. How would it look like? I'm gonna have better Marisas. Like I have to, like we say in Spanish, make the race better, you know, yeah, and you work so hard for that.

Speaker:

How do you say it in Spanish? Yes, mejoran la raza, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and then boom, here comes this present of life, beautiful baby, but as as she starts to grow or he starts to grow, you're like, whoa, what's this?

Speaker 2:

Whoa, you're struggling in school. Oh, you're so different.

Speaker:

I didn't struggle in school, I didn't either.

Speaker 2:

I was straight a student.

Speaker:

No, I know, but that's what our parts would say like, hey, I didn't I didn't have that problem. Why do you have that problem?

Speaker 2:

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So instead of trying to fix it, which that would be the first thing to go to, okay. That's like, that's my job. I gotta fix this, I gotta help them. So, first off, is my mom was not there for me, and that was so painful. So I'm gonna be super in charge of my kids. I'm gonna be on top of the game because I remember my mom not noticing me. So I'm gonna be just on top of things, and then my daughter hates it. Like, you don't trust me. I want to do the things by myself, like, don't helicopter me. But this is just an overcompensating behavior that I have because of my past experiences with my mom. So that's one, but that's in the managerial piece of the parenting journey. If you want to go to the healing piece, like that's the next level.

Speaker:

Yes, please.

Speaker 2:

So the healing piece will be why am I rejecting the uniqueness of characteristics that I see in front of myself. Like, what's this? What's coming up for me? And here comes the big, big, big burdens, like if she's different, then nobody would love her.

Speaker:

Yes, yes, yes, I got goosebumps on that one. I think that that is oof, my whole body is covered in goosebumps because uh I think for parents that is our greatest fear is to have a kid out there in the world, and we know how hard the world is that that maybe goes against the grain or maybe doesn't follow the script. Sure, follow the script, yeah. And so that creates more barriers in between them and being accepted and being loved. That's what we think on the inside, that's what our fear thinks. I think all this helicoptering and wanting to manage and perfection, we're just trying to make sure our kids are loved out there in the big world. But what we're doing is we're not loving them at home either. So we're giving them that you're not lovable experience at home as you are, right? Right, that's the message, right? You are not lovable as you are, you need to be edited.

Speaker 2:

So here comes the healing piece were you able to be yourself while growing up? What happened? Were you able to show up? How were you showing up growing up? And here comes like, whoa, this is just I just need to accept myself. Yeah, I have all this creative side that has been you know cut out for me, or I love to just dress so casually, but I'm always layering myself to belong. And you know, this is a healing piece, and if you do start uncovering what's for you and have the courage to go there, I'm sure your relationship with your child will have a shift in the direction that it has to go, and your child will feel it, you don't have to do anything, he or she will feel the shift as you look at her in her eyes or her his eyes and say, like, wow, you're so cool. Show me more, tell me about your world. How do you say this? Give me more ideas, like wow. So they are a healing agent. God, yeah, they are.

Speaker:

I I agree with that wholeheartedly, and I have experienced that wholeheartedly, and I have become a better woman and person and daughter and all the things, just by letting my kids unfold me.

Speaker 2:

That's the word, yeah.

Speaker:

And by being present with them and really getting to know them and really um getting to know my manager parts and talking to them and saying thank you so much. But today, I've you know, today I've got it covered, and so you know, just giving the kids more space to be themselves really teaches me also how to give my sp myself space to be myself. It's just this two-way street where I'm a little more myself, they're a little more themselves, and we just kind of go back and forth on that journey.

Speaker 2:

Now, something I have discovered, and you have two kids, I have two kids as well, that both of them represent exiled parts of myself.

Speaker:

So wow, I have never thought about that. So you have homework. I have homework, listener.

Speaker 2:

Today I have homework, and this is not supposed to be a therapeutic talk, Catya. But but this has been beautiful in my journey because my creativity, my spontaneity, my playfulness got hidden in a point of my life, Marisa, and this is what Santiago brings up. And in my early years as a parent, I couldn't bear it. Like he's explosive, man.

Speaker:

Like Lima, he's the best.

Speaker 2:

So now it's like, yay, I am going back to those parts of myself that by my trauma, they were cut, they were, they were just disconnected. And my daughter, she's the sensitivity. She just had is a huge empath and just you know, takes everything in. And yeah, then I got into this this mental piece that just got me surviving. But how she just catches them in the air and she knows and she feels, and she so there are two pieces in my life that I'm reconciling with as I've noticed them. Like, whoa, you represent this to me. But that's part of the healing piece.

Speaker:

Man, that is profound. That is so profound. Marisa, thank you so much for joining us again. And we're gonna have you back even on another show because I adore you and I love your perspective. And I just think your your heart and your energy and your knowledge and your wisdom are so valuable. And guys, Marisa is so low-key, she is the most low-key person. She is like once in a while on Instagram, she's just like this like low-key, amazing energy. But once you're around her, it's just, it's so you can feel it. You can feel it. And I hope one day you have the privilege to feel it too. So, Marisa, thank you for joining us. If listeners want to reach out to you, where can they find you?

Speaker 2:

They can reach out through my email or on social. As you say, I'm not much there, but they can leave a miss. Uh I will surely get back to them.

Speaker:

You can find her and she will respond.

Speaker 2:

Definitely. Email will be the best. Okay, and I will reach out back, and yeah, for sure, just get to know each other.

Speaker:

And listeners can schedule with you through social media.

Speaker 2:

Through uh, well, they can reach out to the first, and then I will give them my number so we can be in contact and I will share my booking link with them, and it's as easy as that. You know, we can just the the most important thing is that we do share that safe energy together because everything starts with being feeling safe so you can really open up on what's happening in your life.

Speaker:

Yeah, I agree. Thank you, amiga.

Speaker 2:

Ah, gracias, Catia. Love you. Thank you for having me.

Speaker:

Parenting asks us to grow up alongside our children and to keep returning to the part of us that can say, I'm here, I can handle this, and you're not alone. That's self-led parenting, and that's love in action. Thank you for listening to this episode of Couch Time with Cat. I'll see you guys soon. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gottheahollam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.

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Catia Hernandez Holm

Host