What You Release And What You Devote To Will Shape 2026

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We trade pressure-filled resolutions for a calmer framework: release what no longer fits, choose devotion over performance, and let a single guiding word shape choices and self-talk. Science, seasonality, and story meet to create change that respects capacity and honors timing.

• overpacking as a metaphor for emotional baggage 
• winter as a cue for rest and reflection 
• why rigid goals trigger the threat response 
• intrinsic motivation over external pressure 
• trauma-informed timing and capacity 
• question one: what to release this year 
• how stress shows up in the body 
• question two: devotion as the long game 
• models of steady practice and patience 
• question three: a word to lead your year 
• integrating language, boundaries and nervous system care

Chapters

• 10:15 Why Resolutions Fail Neuroscience
• 14:30 Trauma-Informed Goal Setting
• 18:50 Question One: What To Release
• 22:40 Emotional Baggage In The Body

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat. Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, mental wellness with a friendly voice. I'm Cat, therapist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the hill country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose: to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. What if this year you didn't make resolutions, but instead chose what to release, what to devote yourself to, and what word you'll let lead you? Today on Couch Time with Cat, we're unpacking the emotional suitcase we're dragging into the new year and deciding what's worth carrying. Have you ever packed in a rush for a trip? You know, you're stuffing things in last minute. Maybe you have to sit on the suitcase and zip it all up, and you bring way more than you need just in case. And halfway through a trip, you realize, good lord, I have been dragging around 10 extra pounds of things that I never even touched. For sure, I bring too many books, and for sure I bring too many shoes. This is how it normally goes. I think, you know, just in case I'm gonna take these two extra pairs of shoes. It always ends up slowing me down, making my trip through the hotel or through the airport harder. Oh my gosh, and I think, gosh, I am not doing this again. We do that with stuff, but we do that emotionally too. We carry stories we've outgrown, responsibilities that aren't ours, guilt that doesn't help us, and expectations we never even agreed to. And we wonder why we're so tired by February. So today, here on Couch Time, we're gonna think about not making resolutions. We're gonna do something more sustainable, and we're gonna ask three powerful questions. Number one, what am I no longer willing to carry into 2026? What do we want to say? That's it, you're staying here. Number two, what am I ready to devote myself to? And number three, what word or theme is inviting me forward? Hi, I'm Cat, and you're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm a therapist, coach, TEDx speaker, and your companion for heart-centered conversations about mental wellness. Today we're talking about devotion, discernment, and letting a word lead you. And just a reminder: if you have a question you'd like to ask anonymously, you can call or text me at 956-2497930, and I'll answer it on the show. Psychologically, this time of year is potent. Oh my goodness, the marketing onslaught of new year, new you resolutions. Start this. I can honestly say I have never successfully accomplished a resolution. For me, it just feels like so much pressure. If it's not a hundred percent, it's failure. And in my little brain. So I don't know. It's been at least 10 years since I try to set a resolution because I learned early on, ooh, this doesn't feel this just doesn't feel good. It feels like a bad diet, like no carbs forever. That's a recipe for disaster for me. All I think about is carbs when I do stuff like that. So this all or nothing mentality is not helpful for me. I don't know if it's helpful for you, but we are bombarded with new year new you. Try this 60-day challenge, 30-day challenge, and it's all feels pressure-filled. Let's set that aside for a second. It's winter, and we're in the middle of winter. So, new year new you doesn't really fit with the season that we're in right now, actually. We're in the middle of nature's contraction. Nature is telling us to rest and to sit still and to reflect, and that's gonna be happening for a lot longer, like at least six more weeks. So if you feel like I don't really feel like setting a resolution in the middle of winter, that's okay. I would listen to yourself. If you are thinking, I'd much prefer just reflect right now, and then maybe in six weeks I'll decide what I want to do for 2026. Side note, that's actually what I do. I actually don't set any type of goals for 2026 until February. I just let myself be still and contract and just stay cozy in January. And then as February starts to roll around, I think, okay, let me head over to the bookstore. I'll get a bunch of magazines, I'll do a vision board. And that's when my brain starts to kind of think creatively and hopefully. So if you're feeling like the first week of January doesn't really fit with your rhythm, that's okay. I'm going to encourage you to honor that. So at the end of winter, I know the end of January isn't the end of winter, but it's here in Central Texas, that's kind of like when the ball gets rolling again for us, and maybe even in mid-February. Our brain loves symbolic transitions. That's why rituals like writing rituals or choosing a word can feel powerful. They can create a moment of narrative meaning. But like I said earlier, resolutions don't always work because they come from pressure, not presence. And studies show that most resolutions fade by mid-February. Wink wink, which is when we should set them anyway, I think. I think we should be setting resolutions in mid-February. But let's go into why resolutions are kind of very difficult. So they often trigger the brain's threat response. From a neuroscience standpoint, when we set a big rigid goal, that's the word rigid, without accounting for our capacity or our support systems, the brain often registers it as a threat rather than a motivation. So our amygdala, our little alarm system in our brain goes on alert. And the brain isn't thinking about personal growth. It's thinking, I need to do this 10 days in a row or 20 days in a row. So ever set a goal like I'll work out five days a week and then skip a day and immediately thought, I'm failing. That's your nervous system feeling overwhelmed and interpreting inconsistency as danger. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Most resolutions are externally motivated. Behavioral psychology shows that intrinsic motivation, doing something because it aligns with your values or identity, leads to long-term change. But most resolutions come from external pressure, cultural messaging, new year hype, comparison. Oh my God, losing 10 pounds, exercising every day, doing a no-carb diet. Can you tell I have a thing with carbs? I've already mentioned carbs twice today. Honestly, I'm thinking about this sourdough that I've been buying locally, and it's changed my life for the better. In a study, researchers found that only 8% of people keep their new year's resolution. Most give up by mid-February, not because they're lazy or not good at it, but because the goals aren't rooted in meaning. Resolutions can bypass grief, capacity, and seasonality, which was what I talked about earlier. From a trauma-informed lens, traditional goal setting often assumes a level of emotional availability, executive functioning, and capacity that not everybody has. If you're recovering from a loss or burnout or major transition, you may not be ready to quote unquote optimize. And that's okay. Telling someone who's just lost a job or gone through a breakup to start a new habit in January can feel tone-deaf, dysregulating, rude even. What they may need is rest, reflection, and regulation, not re-invention. I'm gonna repeat that and I'm gonna change the pronoun. What you may need is rest, reflection, regulation, and not re-invention. So instead of asking, what do I need to fix about myself? I encourage you to ask, what am I devoted to becoming? What supports my nervous system? What do I want more of? Not just in terms of accomplishing, but in your body and in your heart. It's not about force, it's about consistency. So when we shift from performance to purpose, we create real, sustainable change. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat. And today we're making space for the new by choosing what we truly want to devote ourselves to. Let's go with the question: what are you no longer willing to carry into 2026? Maybe it's a role that's draining you, a belief that says you have to earn love, the guilt that keeps resurfacing when you say no, or the pressure to show up a certain way on social media, at work, or even in your family. Carrying emotional baggage doesn't just weigh on the heart, it lives in the body. Here's how emotional clutter, unresolved trauma, and chronic stress can manifest physically. It can show up as muscle tension, gut issues, chronic fatigue, headaches, immune dysfunction. Because when we're carrying all these unresolved issues, our body is bracing for an emotional experience and it's stuck in protection mode. So what emotional suitcase, luggage, what's the extra stuff that you're dragging that you didn't necessarily pack with intention? What story are you telling yourself that isn't even true anymore? Maybe it's a story about yourself, but maybe it's about somebody you've known for 40 years and you're remembering that time 20 years ago when they were a real jerk, but that's the story you carry in your heart. If your hands are full of old stuff, how will you receive what's new? That's such a powerful visual image, right? Like you're walking to the car and you've got your water and your coffee and your work bag and you know the thing you're gonna return at target, and you're just kind of balancing it all. And if somebody came to you walking, trying to give you a gift in that moment, it would be so difficult to receive that gift because your hands are full of stuff. We do that emotionally as well. If your hands are full of old stuff, how will you receive what's new? On to our number two, our second big question. What are you ready to devote yourself to this year? The word resolution comes from the Latin resolver to loosen or release, which is ironic because most resolutions feel like pressure. But devotion that hits a little different. Devotion is steady and it's sacred. I want to introduce you to two people that I have been listening to and just kind of trying to orbit around them on social media lately and um and in culture. Their names are Emily Harrington and Adrian Ballinger. Emily Harrington is a world-renowned professional rock climber, mountaineer, and adventurer, and she has made history. In 2020, she became the first woman to free climb the Golden Gate route on El Capitan in under 24 hours, a feat that required not just elite physical ability, but relentless mental focus and emotional resilience and years of preparation. With a background in competitive sport climbing, Emily transitioned from big wall to alpine climbing. She's just an adept mountain climber. And what sets her apart is her honesty about fear, failure, and growth. She speaks openly about injury, doubt, and navigating the pressure of public goals. And for me, it's so refreshing to listen to her. I don't know her personally. I have, um I follow her on social media, I read articles that she writes, I've listened to her on podcasts, and I've even seen her film Girl Climber, which was riveting and endlessly inspiring. I also really enjoy learning from her husband, Adrian Ballinger, and he is a legendary mountaineer, and he owns a company called Alpen Glow Expeditions, and he is a record setter and a storyteller and a teacher at heart. And what really draws me to them isn't their accomplishments, it's actually their stories, their honesty. They are so willing to try hard and fail and recalibrate and stay in the process. They don't approach mountains with short-term thinking. They plan in seasons, in years, sometimes in decades. They train, recover, and come back and try again. Listening to them helps me zoom out. It reminds me that the work I'm doing in my own healing, in relationships, in my ultra-running journeys, skiing, whatever it is I'm deciding that I'm going to turn my attention to, parenting, my marriage, all this stuff, these are all ways that I'm growing as a human and a professional. And seeing them approach their goals reminds me that my journey isn't supposed to be fast. It's not a six-week transformation. It's the long game, it's devotion. And so learning from them and just kind of orbiting around them, that changes how I measure success. I don't ask, did I accomplish something yesterday or at the last race or in the last two weeks? I ask, am I still showing up? Am I still choosing the path, even when it's slow? Because some of the most meaningful things we do in this life, we do over time, quietly, repetitively, and with heart. This is not something I'm going to post on Instagram. You know, I'm not going to get a thousand likes because I try hard. But their trying hard helps me really dig down deep and take a different perspective on what accomplishment is, how long it takes, and the meaning that these endeavors have in my life. What are you ready to devote yourself to in 2026? And who can you surround yourself with that will encourage you in that way? Again, I do not know Emily Harrington or Adrian Ballinger. So it doesn't have to even be somebody that you know in real life. Maybe you can take inspiration from somebody that an author or a reporter or a singer or a musician or an alpinist or an activist. Who can you surround yourself with that will encourage you? Now let's go to the word that leads you. We can talk about a word or a group of words. The language we use every day isn't just communication, it's a powerful tool in creation. The words we choose shape our inner landscape, our relationship, and our experience of time. That's why choosing a word of the year isn't just cliche. It's powerful, word or words. When we let words lead us, we're choosing to shape our story from the inside out. Whether your word is rest or rise or devotion or adventure, like I like to choose, that word becomes a lens. It softens the way you speak to yourself, it clarifies your choices, and it becomes a rhythm from your nervous system and encompass. My word for 2025 was adventure. And man, did I have some good ones? Think about the difference between saying. I have to get through this versus I'm devoted to staying present, or I'm failing versus I'm learning. The word we choose to lead us through the year can rewrite these narratives. It can turn shame into curiosity, urgency into permission. One word can slow us down just enough to ask, is this aligned? Is this loving? Is this mine to carry? In that way, our word or words of the year aren't just something we write on a vision board or in a napkin or in a fun bracelet. It's something we can speak into every conversation, every decision, and every experience. So as you step into 2026, ask yourself, what word will lead me? Not a word to fix you or push you, but to inspire you. A word to come home to when things get loud. A word to whisper when you forget who you are or what you're doing. Because when your language is intentional, your life becomes intentional. You get to create the life that you want. My word adventure for 2025. It changed the way that I approached my schedule, my clients, my experiences, the fun I was having, even some really difficult moments. I could turn a little bit and think, well, it's an adventure. It's my word wasn't a to-do list. It was a lens with which I was able to view my life. What word do you want to use as a lens for 2026? Okay, let's pull this all together. Question number one, what am I no longer willing to carry? Question number two, what am I ready to devote myself to? And question number three, what word is inviting me forward? Text me your word for the year or any of your answers at 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear from you. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat, and today we made space for a new kind of year. One rooted in intention. So, listener, what will you carry with you into the new year? And what will you lovingly leave behind? As you step into 2026, I hope you do it with a clear heart and an intention that really inspires you. I'm Cat, and this is Couchtime with Cat. I'm a therapist coach, best-selling author, and a proud local. It's an honor to be with you today. Couchtime with Cat airs every Sunday at 10 a.m. on KWVH 94.3, and you can catch the replay as a podcast every Monday on Apple, Spotify, and iHeartRadio. Every week, a few thousand of us gather heart to heart, and I don't take a single listen for granted. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Devote your energy wisely, and I'll meet you back here next week. I'm so, so proud of you. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gattheahhallam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.