Hope for Healing with Neuroplasticity

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In today's episode, we break down the science and hope of neuroplasticity and why your most repeated thoughts can feel like fixed roads even when they are just well-worn trails. We share simple tools to build healthier neural pathways through repetition, nervous system safety, and supportive connection. 

• thoughts as mental trails that can change over time 
• what neuroplasticity means in plain language 
• “neurons that fire together wire together” and why practice matters 
• why the brain defaults to efficiency and predictability 
• survival patterns that help us cope but block thriving 
• using awareness to step out of autopilot and into agency 
• externalizing fear loops so a pattern does not become identity 
• tiny consistent shifts that build lasting change 
• regulating the nervous system with breathing, walking, mindfulness, and grounding 
• why healing rarely happens in isolation and how safe relationships rewire us 
• the “catch and redirect” exercise for kinder self-talk 
• journal prompts to spot patterns, find origins, and choose a new path 

Transcript

Welcome And What This Show Is

Speaker 0:00

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat. Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, mental wellness with a friendly voice. I'm Cat, therapist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the Hill Country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. Have you ever noticed how the same thoughts keep showing up in your mind? Like a familiar road your brain just knows how to travel? Maybe it's worry, maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's confidence, maybe it's the quiet voice that says everything is going to be awesome. And maybe it's the quiet voice that says, You're not quite enough. What if I told you that those roads in your mind are not permanent highways? What if they're more like trails in the woods? And with time, awareness, and a little compassion, you can create new ones. Today we're talking about something extraordinary. The science and the hope of neuroplasticity. Imagine two paths in a field. One path is worn down from years of walking. The grass is flattened, the dirt is clear, you can travel it without thinking. The other path barely exists. Maybe it's just a faint bend in the grass. Maybe it's the hint of a way forward or through. But walking that path feels unfamiliar, a little awkward, maybe even uncomfortable or difficult. Our brains work the same way. For years and maybe decades, we repeat certain thoughts. I'm not good enough. Something bad will happen. People always leave. And the brain, being the efficient machine that it is, says, Great, this must be important. So it strengthens that path. The brain loves efficiency, it loves predictability. But the brain is also able to be changed. It is learning every day. Our brains learn from experience, thoughts, relationships. So what I mean by that is the story our brain learned yesterday does not have to be the story it tells tomorrow. And that is where the hope lives. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat. Hi, friends. And today we're talking about how our brains rewire themselves and how we can use neuroplasticity to create healthier emotional lives. Let's start with a little science, but you know, something that we can all understand. Neuroplasticity simply means this: your brain has the ability to change its structure and connections throughout your entire life. So for a long time, scientists believe that the brain stopped changing after childhood. But research over the past few decades has shown something remarkable. Your brain is constantly rewiring itself based on your experiences, your emotions, your relationships, your repeated thoughts, and your behaviors. There's a phrase that neuroscientists often use, and it's this neurons that fire together wire together, which means the more often something happens in the brain, the stronger the pathway becomes. Think of it like practicing an instrument. Maybe you're learning a scale on a piano. The first time you try it, it's clunky. Dink, dink, dink, dink. That's my piano. As you can tell, I don't play piano. But after repetition, your fingers just know what to do. The same thing happens with emotional patterns. If someone has practiced anxiety for years, their brain becomes incredibly efficient at anxiety. If someone has practiced self-criticism, their brain becomes fluent in that language. Here's the hopeful twist. A brain can learn new patterns too. And it does this best when three things are present. First, repetition. Second, emotional safety. And third, meaningful connection, which is why healing rarely happens in isolation. It happens in relationships. It happens in moments where the nervous system says, maybe things can be different. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about rewiring the mind through neuroplasticity. I have a therapy private practice, a group private practice here in Wimberley, and I work with people navigating all sorts of human experiences: anxiety, grief, relationship challenges, burnout, and the long, courageous work of healing from trauma. Beyond the labels and the diagnoses, what I care about most is helping people heal and helping, not only helping mend their heart, but helping them rewire their brain in a way that they will live full and rich and textured, meaningful lives. And so neuroplasticity is something that I use on the micro level and on the macro level and on the subliminal level. I use neuroplasticity on every single level of my therapeutic practice. Our brains have learned patterns that help us survive. Maybe it was a really scary experience, or maybe it was a lot of little hurts along the way. And maybe it's being thrown into a new city, or maybe it's a sudden divorce. There are all sorts of things that happen and even good things. Our brains rewire for good things too. Maybe it's a rocket ship to success, or maybe it's becoming very famous, or um creating a business that takes off really quickly. Our brain reacts to all those things and our brain adapts. So our brain, good or bad, is constantly learning patterns that help us survive, that help us get through the moment. But survival patterns are not always thriving patterns. And the good news, the hopeful news, is that our brains can learn again. They can soften, they can expand, they can build new emotional roads. And that's the work, that's part of the work that I do with clients. I care about that so, so deeply. I have seen it work with and for my clients, but I have also experienced it very much. I went through a really tough time in my mid-20s, and I really didn't know where to turn. And I picked up a book that had been sitting on my shelf for 10 years, and it's called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Feel the fear and do it anyway. And this book was written long ago. So by the time that I read the book, it had already been out 20 or 30 years. So it wasn't new age, the book. There was nothing new about it. I mean, even the pages on the book that I picked up were yellow. I mean, I had been moving with it from apartment to apartment in my 20s. But at this very difficult time, the book called out to me and I thought, I need help and I will take it from anywhere I can get it. So I picked up this book, and this book is all about neuroplasticity. And she gives these homework assignments in the book that to a lot of people seemed corny. And I thought, this is right up my alley. I love a piece of homework. I love to accomplish it and focus on it. So I did all the homework in the book. And it has been almost 20 years since I read that book. And I can say that I still use the lessons and the things that she taught me in that book. I still use it 20 years later. And part of the homework was to rewire your brain and to think powerful thoughts. And now I know a little more about neuroplasticity. So we can't just think ourselves into greatness. You also have to take action. And you can't think yourself into a goal that's completely outside of the realm of possibility, but you can think and work toward a goal that is just outside your comfort zone. And then once you reach that, then you create a next goal and a next goal and a next goal. So the goal is to make it a process, an arc, to stretch over time. And that's what this book taught me to do. So, in no way am I saying affirmations are the way and that's all you need. No, but they are a very, very powerful tool when it comes to healing. And in the book, one of the pieces of homework Susan Jeffers says is to repeat these three statements 25 times, three times each. And I am not joking. I do not have the book in front of me, and I am still, I can still recall. I'm powerful and I am loved. I'm powerful and I am loving. I'm powerful and I love it. I learned that at 26. I am now almost 43, and I can still recite them because I practice them so much. So neuroplasticity has very much affected the lives of each of my clients and my life too. Our brains are always listening. Let's start with something that maybe not everybody realizes. Our brains are constantly learning from us, not just from big experiences, but from small daily moments. Every time you repeat a thought, every time you interpret a situation a certain way, every time your body reacts to stress, the brain takes notes and it strengthens whatever pathway is used most often. So if someone has spent years thinking I have to be perfect, or I can't trust people, or I'm always behind, their brain becomes extremely efficient at those interpretations, not because they're true. Let me repeat that again, not because they're true, but because they've been practiced. And practice makes neural pathways stronger. This is why change can feel uncomfortable when you try to think a new thought, like maybe I'm okay. Your brain says, hold on, that path isn't very developed yet. It feels unfamiliar. But unfamiliar does not mean wrong. It simply means new. So let's take a small moment together. I'm gonna take a deep breath. You guys know I love to do this mid-episode. But I always want to add value to your life. I never just want to sit here and talk. And so taking a deep breath, even mid-episode, really helps me ground into my purpose. It kind of helps me just reset. So thank you for thank you for helping me with that. If you're driving, walking, or sitting somewhere comfortable, I want to invite you to ask yourself something gently. What is one thought pattern your brain seems to repeat often? Maybe it's around insecurity, like she doesn't like me, he doesn't like me, why don't they ever text me back? Or maybe it's self-pressure. I need to do more, I need to do better, I need to, why didn't I do as well? Maybe it's replaying conversations from the past. Why did he say that? Why does she say that? I should have said this. So just notice. I don't, I never ever want you to have any judgment. I only want you to notice. Awareness is the first step in neuroplastic change. Because once we see the path, we realize, oh, there's a path. And if there's a path, there can be another path. And we can decide whether we want to keep walking on it. The point is to get out of autopilot and to get into a position of agency and decision making. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about how our brains learn patterns and how we can reshape them. Now let's talk about the other side of neuroplasticity. When our brain learns fear and prioritizes survival. So when our brain experiences stress, loss, trauma, or uncertainty, it becomes very good at scanning for danger. This is why people develop anxiety loops, hypervigilance, negative self-talk, or relationship patterns that repeat. The brain thinks it's protecting you. It's saying, if I stay alert, maybe I can prevent pain. But the brain doesn't always update the map, meaning the danger might be gone. But the brain is still operating from an old survival pattern. And notice how I keep saying the brain, I'm externalizing it. This is also part of healing. Sometimes we're so fused with the thought or the pattern we think this is me. But that's not true. It's not you, it's a learned behavior. When people say things like, I'm just hardwired this way, I don't buy it. I never, I don't, I don't agree. Um, hot take. I don't agree with hardware. I think that we can absorb thoughts, I think that we can learn patterns, and I think that we all have proclivities to certain things, but I don't ever think anybody is beyond hope for change. I think if you want to change, you can. Our brains are adaptive, and just like they learned maladaptive patterns, they can learn new and healthy, better ones. So something that I think about often, I externalize a lot of my maladaptive coping skills and my thoughts and my negativity because I don't want them to feel like me. I want to be able to see them for what they are, notice them, appreciate them, take whatever I need from them, but then I want to leave the rest. I never want to kind of carry that baggage with me. And even though I do this for a living, I help people heal. I'm on my own healing journey. I'm very um, I value that. I value a healing journey. There are still moments when I notice my brain taking an old road. And I just kind of shake my head and smile and say, up, there you are again. And that's okay. I don't judge myself for it. I just notice and shift, rewiring the brain. So, how do we actually create new neural pathways? The good news is that the brain changes through small, consistent experiences, not giant transformations. So if you're not feeling very courageous, the answer is not to then go skydiving. That's that is not going to create any lasting change. Somebody who's feeling not courageous and who wants to walk in that direction just needs tiny shifts repeated over time. So new thoughts. When you interrupt a critical thought with a more compassionate one, you are literally practicing a new neural pattern. So not fake positivity or um, you're not Pollyanna, you're not gonna like Pollyanna the moment. You're just gonna think, instead of thinking something difficult or judgmental, like, oh, I screw up all the time. Try replacing that with, I'm learning, it happens. So you want to replace it with something that is believable. So not something that is so far outside your reach that you don't believe it, but something a smaller shift that you could make. In addition to new thoughts, we can regulate our body. Our nervous system teaches our brain what is safe. So practices like breathing, walking, mindfulness, grounding exercises, all these ideas, they send signals to the brain that things are okay. And slowly this reshapes our pathways. So I'm constantly sharing here about deep breathing. Walking is bilateral stimulation, so that helps heal your nervous system as well. What mindfulness does is it brings your awareness to the present moment. So right now I'm sitting in a recording studio and I see natural light and trees, and I see um these beautiful microphones, and I see warm sun and grass. So as I'm looking around, I ground myself in the present moment. I can feel my weight on the chair, I can feel my calf against the bottom of the chair. And what that does is it turns on my senses and it gets me out of my head and into my actual senses. So that's why mindfulness is very helpful. And then grounding exercises. That's another way of bringing yourself into the present moment. So grounding exercise could look like taking your shoes off and standing in the grass outside. It could look like stepping outside and turning your face toward the sun and just taking a few deep breaths. If you're in an office, it could look like literally laying down on the floor and letting your back kind of relax into the floor and so you can feel the support of the floor. So far, we've got rewiring the brain, new thoughts, regulating the body. And last, we have healthy relationships. This is the hardest because we need somebody else's participation, right? We can't do this alone. And for those of us who are used to going at it alone, this can be the most vulnerable step. Safe relationships are one of the most powerful drivers for neuroplastic change. When we experience understanding, empathy, and emotional safety, the brain begins to relax its guard and new patterns form. Connection rewires us. So let me let me expand on that just a little bit. A healthy relationship can come in the form of a friendship, a romantic relationship, even a work relationship. Maybe it's your mom or your dad. And it can also come in the form of a therapist, a good therapist. Here's why. Often we're taught that we need to hide parts of ourselves to be applauded, to be welcomed, to be loved. And we learn to hide away our more complicated parts, and we learn to really show our good, shiny, straight A parts. And that makes sense because we're wanting to connect with people. So over the years, we learn how to prioritize connection over our own authenticity. And that's okay sometimes. But when that gets out of hand, when we're really not being authentic to who we are at all, what happens is that we connect with others, but we disconnect with ourselves. And that gets really dangerous. So the most ideal relationship is one where you can connect with yourself and another at the very same time. And a lot of Of people out there don't have that skill. That is not a criticism. That is more like that is a master class in evolution. So if you don't have that skill, that's okay. Not many of us do. But therapists, a lot of good therapists, have that skill. They have that skill because they're trained to have that skill. And also, just so you don't think therapists are, you know, like a magic fairy, when we are there in the seat, in the room with you, we know that we know what's on the line. We know how vulnerable it is for you. We know how much courage it took for you to get there. And we honor that deeply. So part of therapy is the lingo is called unconditional positive regard. So that's really saying we are going to think well and highly of you no matter what you say. We're going to accept all parts of you. We're going to welcome all parts of you. We want to see your bright parts and we want to see your shadow parts. And we're not going to judge you. And we're going to think, of course, of course, you're having a hard time. And we're going to point out your goodness. And we are going to tell you that all your parts are okay and that it's okay for you to be your authentic self. And all of that is coming from a very sincere and loving place. It's never phony. It is never, ever, ever phony. And if it is phony, you'd be able to tell. Like you can smell it from a mile away. So therapists are trained in this way. I know I was trained in that way. I know my therapist gave me that gift. She gave me the space to show all of who I was and welcome me, not despite it, but because of it. So she showed me that I could connect with her and with myself at the same time. And that's what I mean by a healthy relationship where you can be all of who you are and be welcome. Again, it doesn't have to be a therapist. It can be a friend, a colleague, a parent, a sibling, a spouse. But find yourself some people where you feel like you can relax into who you are and they can do the same. Here's a small exercise you can try this week. I call it catch and redirect. So I want you to notice a recurring thought. Maybe it's I didn't do enough today. My to-do list isn't done. I need to, I need to, I need to. Dot dot dot. Notice that thought and pause. And maybe offer yourself a slightly kinder version. Like, this is hard, but I'm learning. Or I'm busy and I deserve rest. Or people expect things from me and I'm proud of how I show up. So you're simply creating a new trail in the mind. And over time, that trail grows stronger and stronger. And all of a sudden, you're developing these new neuropathways. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about rewiring our brains through the power of neuroplasticity. Okay, journal time friends, get out a piece of paper or maybe get out your phone, your notes on your phone. And let's jump into some questions that you can use to explore this part. What emotional patterns do you notice repeating in your life? I'll repeat that again. What emotional patterns do you notice repeating in your life? So maybe that's a pattern of toxicity or volatility, or maybe it's even your connections are not as deep as you'd like. Maybe it's friendships that don't quite stick. So just ask yourself, just see, just notice, and then draw a little arrow to the right, and then ask yourself, when did your brain first learn that pattern? So when did the brain learn that pattern? Maybe it learned it two decades ago. Maybe it learned it in the last bad relationship you had. Maybe it learned it in a very tense work situation. And then draw another arrow. So we're just kind of following the arrows. What would a slightly kinder thought sound like? So maybe the thought is, I can't keep friends. Maybe a slightly kinder thought would be I'm curious about what a deep friendship would feel like. Or I'm curious about how I can show up better in friendships. Or I'm curious about my part in friendships. Again, no judgment. You're just kind of exploring the terrain. Next question is who in your life helps your nervous system feel calm? So identify one or two people that you feel really relaxed with. They're going to be your support system. I know they're already your support system, but as you decide to rewire neural pathways, a support system is always so helpful. And lastly, what new emotional path would you like your brain to practice? It's a practice, friends. It's not, we're not going to bat a thousand. That's okay. And we're going to build slowly over time. Be gentle with yourselves because you have to realize that you have been practicing these neural pathways for quite some time. And it's going to take time to rewire. I mean, it's going to take six months or a year. And that's okay because listen, I'm 42. I'm about to be 43. So let's call it, let's call it 43. I'm going to be 44 whether I practice these new neural pathways or not. So I may as well get to 44 with the brain that I like, right? Time's going to pass anyway. So why not put in the effort to experience life in a way that you want from a sense of agency instead of a way that kind of feels like an autopilot and is very, very stressful. Let's land the plane, friends. Your brain is remarkable. It has spent your entire life learning how to protect you, guide you, and make sense of the world. Some of the patterns it learned along the way may no longer serve you. But that does not mean you are stuck. Because the brain that learned those patterns is the same brain that can learn something new, a gentler voice, a safer relationship, a new emotional path. And change rarely happens all at once. It happens in small moments, moments of awareness, moments of compassion, moments where you choose a different step than yesterday. That is neuroplasticity, and that is hope. I hope this episode has served you well. I hope you took something from it. And if you ever have any questions, you can reach out to me on Instagram or at my email. Um got the gatheaholum.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. And I'm happy to chat with you. I would love your show ideas. If you guys have any topics that you want me to cover, I am here to serve this community and to add value to your life in any way I can. Until next week, take good care of yourselves. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gattheahhollam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.