How Language Shapes Identity And Emotion with Bia Berlitz

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In today's episode, we talk with strategic communication mentor Bia Berlitz about why our feelings can be bigger than our vocabulary and why that gap can make us feel alone. We connect language, identity, and mental wellness so we can communicate with more clarity, self-trust, and compassion.

• linguistic relativity and how language shapes emotion
• why some feelings feel clearer in certain languages
• accessing different layers of self through multilingual life
• frustration and shame when you cannot find words
• “where communication fails, health pays the price” and the mind-body cost of repression
• confidence gains that come with learning and being understood
• quick fixes like translation apps versus long-term language growth
• journal prompt on where you feel understood and where you search for words

Show Guest:

Bia Berlitz is a Strategic Communication Mentor who helps people find their voice—and use it with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Fluent in five languages and working in both English and Portuguese, Bia brings more than 30 years of experience teaching and mentoring clients across Brazil and around the world.

With a background in Portuguese and English Language Studies, Bia has worked with executives, actors, and professionals from all walks of life. Her passion lies in helping people expand beyond what they thought was possible—whether that’s speaking a new language, stepping into leadership, or expressing themselves more authentically.

At her core, Bia believes communication is about connection. Her mission is to bridge worlds and transform voices through language and oratory, creating space for people to be seen, heard, and understood.

Off the mic, Bia is a devoted, down-to-earth mom who treasures her family deeply and finds joy in the simple things—especially time by the beach.

You can connect with Bia on Instagram at Brigida Berlitz.

Transcript

Welcome To Couch Time

Speaker 0:00

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat.

Language Shapes How We Feel

How Kat And Bia Met

Speaker 2 0:10

Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, Mental Wellness with a Friendly Voice. I'm Cat, therapist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the Hill Country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. Have you ever tried to explain a feeling and somehow the words just weren't enough? Like the emotion lived fully inside you, but the language you had maybe fell short. Today we're talking about identity, language, and what it really means to feel seen and understood. There's this quiet moment that happens sometimes, and maybe you felt it. You're in a conversation, maybe even with someone you love, and you're trying to say something that matters, something real. But the words don't quite land. They come out close, but not quite right. And you immediately know, and there's a subtle disconnect, that tiny fracture between what you meant and what was heard. And maybe you laugh it off or you say, Oh, you know what I mean, and move on. But something inside you says, something's off. Because being understood, it's not just about communication, it's about belonging, it's about feeling real in the presence of another human being. And what's fascinating is that language, the very thing we rely on to connect, is also shaping how we feel, how we think, and even who we believe we are. Today's conversation lives right at that intersection. We're exploring what happens when language meets identity, when emotion meets expression, and what it means to navigate a world where sometimes your inner life is richer than the words available to describe it. Because whether you speak one language or five, we've all had moments where we felt misunderstood. Or unsure how to say what we really mean. Or wondered is this even coming across the way I really want it to? So today is about slowing that down, listening more deeply, and maybe finding new ways to connect, not just with others, but with ourselves. You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about identity, language, and emotional life. Before we bring in our amazing guest, I want us to ground in something that I find fascinating. Research in psychology and neuroscience shows that language doesn't just describe emotion, it actually shapes it. There's something called linguistic relativity, which suggests that the language we speak influences how we perceive the world. And that includes our emotional experience. For example, some languages have words for feelings that don't exist in English, like a very specific kind of longing or a bittersweet joy that carries both gratitude and grief. And when we don't have a word for something, it can be harder to fully process it. It's kind of like trying to hold water in your hands. You that doesn't quite work. And there's also research showing that people who are bilingual or multilingual often report feeling like different versions of themselves depending on the language they're speaking. Sometimes more confident, sometimes more vulnerable, and sometimes more themselves. And from a trauma-informed perspective, this matters because healing often begins with naming, with putting language to experience. But what happens when the language you have doesn't quite fit your experience? That's where today's conversation becomes interesting. And this is why I'm so excited about today's guest. Bia Berlitz is a strategic communication mentor who helps people find their voice and not just any voice, but one that feels clear, confident, and deeply aligned with who they are. She's fluent in not one, not two, not three, not four, but five languages and has spent more than 30 years working across Brazil and internationally, teaching and mentoring executives, actors, and professionals from all walks of life. But what I love most about Bia's work is that it goes beyond language. It's about a connection. It's about helping people express themselves in a way that feels authentic and not performative. Her mission is to bridge worlds and transform voices through language and oratory, creating space for people to be seen, heard, and understood. And off the mic, she's a devoted mom, an amazing cook, someone who deeply values family, and someone who finds joy in the simple, grounding beauty of life, especially near the ocean. And most importantly to me, she's one of my very best friends, and I love her. Oh my gosh, how I love her. Bia. Hi, Bia. Welcome, my friend.

Speaker 6:31

Hello, my friend. It's so nice being here. Thank you for the invitation.

Speaker 2 6:35

Oh my gosh, Bia. Okay. Bia, do you want to tell people how we met?

Speaker 6:42

Yes, of course. I love that. It was such a light and easy moment of our lives, I guess, when we met. I mean, maybe not, I know for you if you see it the same way, because you were just, we were both moving from countries that were not ours. We met in Panama, you're from the US, I'm from Brazil, and we met here. So we were both starting a new life in a new country, both moms with like young kids still learning like what is this thing of being a mom, right? And we met in a very in the most interesting way possible because Catya was teaching gym classes or workout classes. And I I was like going there to learn how to work out, and that was this amazing feature, coach, person, woman that we we clicked right away, right?

Speaker 2 7:38

Oh my god, I have forgotten about that.

Speaker 7:42

Yeah. I mean, actually, actually, we met because our daughters went to school together, they were in the same classroom, right? Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 7:49

And we had um, listener, I lived in Panama with my family in 2018 and 2019. And um let's see. Our our kids were in the same class, and everybody you live by water or by a pool, right? When it's hot outside, you're just constantly by water or by a pool. So there was like a play date, like a kid play date by the pool.

Speaker 8:16

I remember that.

Speaker 2 8:17

And uh, I was like, whoa, Bia knows what she's doing. She looked like a mom who knew what she was doing. And I was like, I was like, I gotta be friends with her.

Speaker 8:28

I had the same feeling. And I think you're telling us the story because I know there was something, some kind of issue between our daughters, right? And that was that's what happened. And then your daughter came, Alexandra came and said something like, uh, I don't remember what she said. What did she say? Yeah, I remember what I told her, but yeah.

Speaker 2 8:49

Not to throw Sophie under the bus, but I mean they were children. No, no, no, go ahead. They were children. Go ahead. So Alexandra said something like, um, uh, Sophie called me stupid, or something like that. And you said, Do you remember what you said?

Speaker 9:07

Yeah, I told her, Are you? Yeah, I asked her, Are you? And she said, No. So it's okay, that's all that matters. You have to know who you are. It doesn't matter what our say, or something like that, right?

Speaker 2 9:18

We use it almost every day, Bia.

Speaker 1 9:20

We use truly dad, it's so good. Truly your dad.

Speaker 2 9:24

Yeah, completely. That's not an exaggeration. We think about that as parents all the time. We're like, well, do what Miss Bia says. We're like, is it true? No, okay, move on.

Speaker 9:34

No, move on. Yes, yes. That's part of Prince my principle of life. And I think and Sophie's a much better person because of that.

Speaker 2 9:42

My daughter, thankfully, is different kid.

Speaker 9:45

Yes.

Speaker 2 9:46

Oh, I love it.

Speaker 9:47

They will get along so well. Oh, I believe. And so they I'm sure if they have a chance, they will be best friends.

Different Languages Different Layers Of Self

Speaker 2 9:53

Oh, I hope that they do. So that brings us really to I think that that's a good segue into today's topic, which is language and culture and expressing yourself and how things can be different in different languages. So at that age, Sophie, well, let's say that they were both five. Sophie knew how many languages at five? German for sure.

Speaker 10:22

No, Portuguese for sure. So Portuguese, English, Portuguese for sure, English, and some Spanish.

Speaker 2 10:27

And some Spanish.

Speaker 10:28

So by five, she now she now she masters the German, but at that time she didn't.

Speaker 2 10:33

Okay, so now she knows four languages, but then she knew three. Isn't that amazing?

Speaker 10:38

That is amazing. That is a superpower. I tell my kids, this is a superpower, guys, to be able to communicate, to express yourself, whatever you want to say, in in in like in every language, doesn't give you just uh how can I say doesn't it doesn't just give you a communication power, but also access to different mindset, to different culture, and that shapes who you are.

Speaker 2 11:00

Oh my god.

Speaker 11:01

You become different versions of yourself.

Speaker 2 11:03

Yes. Okay, okay. So here's a question. Do you think that some emotions exist more vividly in certain languages?

Speaker 11:12

For sure.

Speaker 2 11:13

Okay, tell me, give me an example.

Speaker 11:15

And I can say that not only because I love languages and I speak five of them, but also because I'm married to a foreigner. So I see the way me and my husband, he's German, we process information or we process emotion differently, deeply, because he has some, let's say, I don't know if the right word would be this one, like, but he has some codes that I don't because they've been through things that I haven't because of our because we've we come from different countries, our stories are different, our experiences are different. Not not only ours, but from our antecessors, all the people who came be before us, all of this shape who we are, and all of this is part of the language. So be for the question again.

Speaker 2 12:07

Yes, for the listener, I'm gonna say the question again, but for to give the listener some context, where are you from and what languages do you speak? Okay, what's your native language?

Speaker 12:19

Portuguese, Portuguese, and um and then uh I'm from Brazil. My family comes from not my family, my my direct family, but my ancestors they came from Germany, escaping from war. So when I was a kid, I used to go to a German school, I learned German at school, German at school, and then I loved it, and then my parents moved me to uh not German, but a um um school that taught English, and I had never studied English in my life, and I was in fifth grade, so my first English test was like zero with a red pen written, and then I told my mom, okay, I have to learn English, and then I started studying English, and then I fell in love with Andrea Boccelli, and I was like, Oh my god, I have to learn this language, and then I started studying Italian. At the same time, a cousin of mine who was studying law said, Oh, I have to learn Italian for my my my law course, university, and do you want to study with me? And I said, Of course. So then I learned Italian, and then I moved to Panama, and here's Spanish, so then I learned Spanish. So I speak these languages, uh English in this right order, like uh Portuguese, German, English, Italian, and Spanish. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 13:34

I love them all. And you live in a place that speaks primarily Spanish.

Speaker 13:40

I my friend, honestly, you've you've lived here where we live. Who speaks Spanish in Coronado? It's English, you know. Well, all it should be in Spanish.

Speaker 2 13:50

All the restaurants, all the stores, all the that's Spanish.

Speaker 13:55

That's Spanish, but they also can speak English.

Speaker 2 13:58

Oh, really?

Speaker 13:59

Right? Some English, yeah. Okay. Some English, yes. Okay, interesting. But yes, yes, the official language is Spanish.

Speaker 2 14:06

Okay, but let's say you drive to Panama City. Spanish.

Speaker 14:09

Yes, Spanish, yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 14:11

Okay. So you live in a place that you use the the language that you know the least.

Speaker 14:19

Exactly.

Speaker 2 14:20

So you know I like the least. My whole point of that is that you know it pretty well. You know what? That you know Spanish pretty well.

Speaker 14:29

If you live in a place that well, well, enough enough to leave, yeah, yes. To leave well. Not only to not to survive, but to leave well.

Speaker 2 14:40

Yes. So the quest the original question is was do some emotions exist more vividly in certain languages? And you were saying that your husband is German, he processes things differently. Yes. And I wanted to give the listener some insight into all the languages you know and why you know them. And so, how do you know that, or why do you think that emotions exist more vividly in certain languages? Why do you think that?

Speaker 15:06

Because I think the way you learn them, like you learn language in a different way. Like, as I told you, like quite briefly, how I learned why I had to learn English, because I failed at school, you know, and I said, okay, I need this language. It was not like, oh, I love this language. No, I need this language, I gotta learn it. And then I fell in love with English, and then Italian. Oh, because you know, I love the singer, I want to understand what's that. So I think these are emotions. We learn language for different reasons, and these reasons are attached to emotions. May uh it can be like need, necessity, or I needed it in my my first uh experience with English because I needed it, otherwise I would fail school, you know. So it was necessity. Italian was a completely different matter, you know. I loved the language, I wanted to learn it. German was family origins. My my father's family spoke German at home. So I had to understand what they were saying, you know. I wanted to talk to my aunts, my uncles. So, you know, it's like there is this bond with family. So, and I think when you learn language for different purposes, uh, it carries this emotion, the emotion of the reason why you're learning that language. So, in some languages, you can feel more relaxed, more funny, you know, more even extroverted. In others, we're serious or more professional.

Speaker 2 16:22

Would you say that? Let's just say anger. Is it easier to express anger in Portuguese or English?

Speaker 16:32

It is easy for to express in both.

Speaker 2 16:35

In both. Easier.

Speaker 16:36

You mean easier or if it's easy? Easy, yes.

Speaker 2 16:40

Which which one is it easier? Which one is better to express anger? Portuguese or English?

Speaker 16:47

Probably Portuguese. I've never really thought about it. Because English is so present in my life, but yes, Portuguese is my my home language, let's say, uh, my my mother tongue. Yeah.

Speaker 2 16:59

Okay, okay. Do you think it's easier or like let's say what's the language that you know that it's easiest to express love in?

Speaker 17:10

Portuguese for sure.

Speaker 2 17:12

Do you think that's because your native language?

Speaker 17:16

Also, but also if you compare English to Portuguese, Portuguese has many more vocabs in terms of uh vocabulary, in terms of words. Portuguese has many more words than the English language. On the other hand, English language has much more combination, like phrasal verbs, you know, combining words. English has much more than Portuguese, and I love these combinations, you know. I think it gives us a freedom to express things in different ways, you know. So it's like kind of one complements the other, you know. But yes, yeah, it is very interesting. But yes, I think Portuguese is like my first language, and uh and it's connected to family, it's connected to who we really are, you know, and then comes the emotions again. It was not a need or or an interest, it was just like that's it. You have you were born, God gave this language, this is your do whatever you want with it. So you grow up with that.

Speaker 2 18:09

When you work with clients one-on-one and they're learning a new language, what do you see happens to them when they don't have the words for what they're feeling? Like they're trying to express it, let's say, in the new language and they don't know how. They could maybe do it in their mother tongue, but not in this new language. What happens to them? What do you see happens to them when they're trying to communicate, but don't have the words to do so?

Speaker 18:38

That's my biggest um that that's that's how my work is driven, actually. I want to make people feel authentic in whatever language they want to speak, right? So they feel answering your question, how they feel frustration, of course, and there is also this intelligence perceived, you know. So sometimes they feel that they're they they feel they are dumb or or or flat or shallow, and they're not. You know, we're talking about bright people, smart people, and then they want to convey exactly the way they speak in Purdue, and they can't. And that's why I said frustration in the first place, you know. So then that's what I said earlier: like learning a language is much more than knowing vocabulary. It's like going through emotion, it's going through emotions, I would say, you know, and then you can express yourself and be seen, not only understood, but be seen, that's powerful. That's powerful, no, and this is something I always tell my students: I want you to be yourself in whichever language you decide to speak. And that that's not that easy, that's not that simple. That takes years. Even if you learn and you master grammatically the language, it takes ears to be yourself in another language.

Speaker 2 19:53

Yes, yes, yes. Do you know? I feel more myself in Spanish. Really? Yeah, yeah. I don't speak it as often, but I dream in Spanish, I watch movies in Spanish, I listen to music in Spanish. Like I have this whole other world in Spanish, and something happens where I like connect inside myself. I don't, but I don't speak it very often because nobody I don't have that many people who know how to speak Spanish here with me. So um, but I do feel most to myself in Spanish, which is so weird because that's nice. Um I speak English every single day.

Speaker 20:37

But that's where your region is, right? Like if we think of your family origins, the Spanish is there. And that's why I said that German is my second language, and and I must say, you know, I learned German at school. When I went to school, I went to a uh a Brazilian German uh school, so I was like I learned both languages until fifth, fourth grade, and then fifth grade, my parents moved me to another school that had English. So and my German was there. I just started studying German again when I met my husband and we started dating. So until nowadays, there are some things I have doubts in English. I have like a question, like, is that right? Is this construction right? You know, and uh and it's curious because like you're saying that you feel more yourself in in Spanish, and I should feel the same about German, but I don't. I still feel myself much more in Portuguese than in German.

Speaker 2 21:28

Yeah, you're doubting it. Yeah, yeah. Listener, sometimes I notice that there are moments when I feel something so deeply, but I don't necessarily have the words for it. And I know that that can be frustrating sometimes. Like language can't quite hold what we're feeling. And I think that that's something many of us experience, even if we've never named it. So, something that I do in my private practice, I actually work a lot with art. And we're With music and we do a lot of expressive art because sometimes colors and textures and paint and play-doh and clay and sand and just these different things that we can use with our hands help us explain how we're feeling. So sometimes even it doesn't even have to be about language. It can just be that words maybe aren't quite enough to describe what you're feeling. Think about a feeling you've had recently that was hard to explain. What did it feel like in your body? And what words did you try to use? And did you feel like those described it well enough? You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about identity, language, and emotional life. And our guest today is Bia Berlitz. And she is a linguist, and she speaks five languages, and she is a master teacher. And she's just here to share with us her expertise about languages and cultures and how that shows up in our emotions. Okay, Bia, do you think that we become different versions of ourselves when we speak different languages?

Speaker 23:16

I don't know if we've become different versions, but we definitely access different layers of ourselves. I don't think we become a different person. Yeah, I don't think we become a different person or a fake person, but we have a different level of access, that is for sure. Because as we're saying, like language is related to emotion. Why why did I learn that language? Why did I decide, or why I had to learn that language? And when you when you have this, when you make this connection, you access these different layers that I'm saying, right? So yeah. Um and it's very interesting because it shows also that you are bigger than your voice or than your vocabulary or even in your accent. And it takes time to to to get to this realization, you know, because sometimes you feel okay, I can be myself in every language. Yeah, but you're not really the same. And again, it doesn't mean that you're being fake, it's just that you're not really the same. You you you reach an emotion, that emotion is what guides you in that language, you know. So you you it's not that you have a different personality, but yes, you definitely access different layers of who you are.

Where Communication Fails Health Pays

Speaker 2 24:31

I love that. That's I can even I can see that happening. And how do you think language impacts confidence or vulnerability?

Speaker 24:41

Um, I like a sentence that I always tell my student where communication fails, health pays the price. So if you're not able to express what you want or to be heard or to be seen, you will come up with you know some kind of health issues, can be a skin rash or even something more serious because you're just swallowing all that, all those emotions, all those thoughts, all that need to express yourself.

Speaker 2 25:09

So Bia, you have to say that again. Oh my gosh, I love that. That sounds amazing. Say that again, please.

Speaker 25:18

Let me try. I said my my sentence, but I also that one sentence, yeah. Ah, that one is out. Okay, I said that where communication fails, health pays the price.

Speaker 2 25:28

Oh, where communication fails. You cannot repress where communication fails, health pays the price. Wow.

Speaker 25:38

I I truly believe that.

Speaker 2 25:40

Yes, so profound.

Speaker 25:42

I not only I believe because I've seen this through all these years. I've been teaching for 31 years. I've seen people losing job opportunities, I've seen people being uh not promoted, and the the sense of uh frustration of or of like I'm not enough, I'm not good, uh, you know, because of not knowing a language, the person starts to to sell to to question like uh everything they do, you know. It's unbelievable the power of the communication.

Speaker 2 26:10

And you were saying, and I'm sorry I interrupted you because I was like my mind was being blown away. Go ahead, but you were saying, so if you're not communicating what you really mean, you start to get skin rashes and what or maybe and what else could you get when you don't communicate?

Speaker 26:28

Like, guys, and then we come to the topic of energy that it was something that I really like, but I'm still a learner on this matter, you know. But you know, like everything is energy. If you think, if you study a little bit, everything dispenses and energy. Uh, you know, the the the earphones we're wearing, like using everything is energy, so words are energy, words emit a certain frequency. So if you're not emitting the right words, if you're not living the right frequency, you can get sick. You can start with mentally, and then it becomes physical. You know, you could have even um it's hard to describe, you know, but there are some so many diseases we know, and you are a psychologist, you know that better than me. Like, like things become physically because first they were emotional, right?

Speaker 2 27:18

You can lose your hair, you can your back can start to hurt, you can, you know, stomach, stomach problems.

Speaker 27:27

You can have you know, like throat throat if you don't communicate well, also what do you want? There's thousands of things that then we go to chakras, right?

Speaker 2 27:36

Your chakra is blocked. Your yes, exactly, yes, absolutely. Via, why would why do your students come to you? Like what who wants to learn a new language and why like why do they want to learn a new language?

Speaker 27:50

Mostly professionally. Well, I mean, most that come to me have this professional interest. I work a lot with business people, uh, and that's what I really love doing. Um, so why they come, yeah, because they they most because of need.

Speaker 2 28:06

So they need it for their job, like they need to learn another language for their job.

Speaker 28:11

Mostly, yes. Most of them because of that. And some of them love the language, some of them hate the language. So you have to make also this mental work to tell them you better love it. Because it's easier to learn something that you love, that you care for. Ah, but I don't like it. But you have to like it. Let's find a way. So I start bringing songs the person like, let's work with lyrics, let's work with topics that are interesting for you. So that's what you like, what do you like? What is interesting for you? So I'll prepare the whole class based on that. So the person will be interested in learning because oh, I like this topic. I want to learn about it. It's in English in the class, so you have to learn about it, and then little by little develop that sense of liking the language. I associate the language with things they like, so they start to like the language. This is the first thing I think I do, you know. And once I get them, say, okay, they like land. Now let's go. Let's go for grammar, let's go for camera, let's go deep, you know. But first, I have to like this thing, you know.

Speaker 2 29:06

Yes, yes, good point. And do you see your students get more confident as they learn more?

Speaker 29:14

100%. Not only they get the people perceive that around them. And I this is for me the high lot of my job is when I get a message from a student, like, oh, I was in a plane today, and I could hold a conversation for 30 minutes with the person sitting next to me in English, things I would never have even tried and opened my mouth some months ago, you know, this kind of thing. Like, oh, I was invited, like a student of mine recently was invited to go to Greece for a conference. And she's been in the company for a couple of years now. She always wanted to get a promotion. She always likes, and now there is this huge conference, and only two employees were selected, and she was one of them, you know. And she was like, Thank you, like I'm exposing myself more in English, I'm being able to the company, she's great, she's a great employee, you know. She brings high numbers to the company, performs very well and everything, and now she's accomplishing this language, you know, she's accomplishing uh, how can I say, not accomplishing, but she's uh breaking this uh barrier that was uh making her not further in the go further in her year.

Speaker 2 30:21

Yes, yes, like she took down the obstacle. It was scary for her, but she decided I'm gonna go for it.

Speaker 30:28

Yeah. So, yes, so it's like something that's very tangible, you know, to see the result of my work and I love that.

Misunderstood Moments And Practical Tools

Speaker 2 30:35

That's amazing. Um, congratulations to her. Let's talk about some questions that are maybe a little bit removed from language, but are I think really great for me and you to talk about because they're just these big ideas. Is that okay? Of course. Okay, what do you think happens when somebody feels misunderstood? What happens to them emotionally? What do you think happens inside? And let's just go back and forth.

Speaker 31:06

I well, you're the psychologist here, but I'll give him my opinion.

Speaker 2 31:09

No, no, no. Let's just talk like friends, right? Somebody who's misunderstood, what do you think starts to happen to them?

Speaker 31:15

I think that depends on the way the person sees him or herself or themselves in the world. Because it can lead my interpretation, okay, it can either lead to two different paths. First, the person can feel like, oh, I'm nothing, I don't even know how to express myself. Uh, I'm no one, like no one cares about me. Or secondly, can be something like, hmm, what can I do to get better so that people really understand me? So instead of feeling frustration, the person can be can feel challenged, you know. So it's hard to say because I don't think everybody feels the same way. I've seen students feeling frustrated, and I've seen like this student of mine say, okay, I have to get ahead of it, I have to learn this language, otherwise, I will not be promoted, you know. So she used that to improve herself. So I don't know. I don't think I don't, I don't think there is one specific answer to this question. How do people feel? Because we're talking about people. People have different backgrounds, different emotions, people feel different, everything, you know. Yeah, my my understanding.

Speaker 2 32:19

Yeah, no, I think that that's great. And as often happens, listener, with me and Bia, is that we have totally different answers.

Speaker 32:26

No, well, how would you answer this question?

Speaker 2 32:29

I think when somebody feels misunderstood, I will add to that to your answer, that I think that they feel hurt. Like maybe they are not good enough, or why don't people want to understand them? Or so that's kind of that's more of a little bit of a victim approach. But I think but I feel like it it would be like today, something happened to me this morning, and I was feeling misunderstood. And I I I started by feeling hurt and then I challenged myself to uh lean in, and it was so uncomfortable, Bia. Oh my god. I literally said, This is a nightmare. I've got to get out of here.

Speaker 33:22

Really? Can you share what happened?

Speaker 2 33:24

Yeah, yeah. No, I was around a group of people and I didn't feel um I didn't feel like they wanted me there. And I felt very insecure. And I just was so I the moment I felt insecure, I started feeling awkward and like creating a story in my head. So I thought I was like, oh my God. It was so weird. So I went to my car and literally was walking to my car, and I thought, this is a nightmare. I gotta go. But I said, no, don't do that, like challenge yourself. So I challenged myself and I stayed for longer and I talked to more people, and I just really decided to approach them and to make more of a connection. Bia, what can we do when we feel like our words aren't landing? So we want to communicate something, but we're not quite getting it across.

Speaker 34:26

So we can think of this question, this question in the short term and in the long term. In the long term, I would say how important that language is to you, if that really matters, like you move to another country, have to learn the language, you married a foreigner, you have a new job that requires you, you know, if you've got a grandchild, and the grandchild is uh just you can like whatever reason it is, if you have a reason and or a need to learn that language and that bothers you that you don't know, so I would say in the long term, you should take time, dedicate time to learn that so that things can land the way you you would like, right? And in the short term, it's hard, right? Because if you don't have that structure yet, you don't have the knowledge yet, you don't as I said in the beginning, you don't have you don't have that code yet. How can you decodify what you want in that language when you don't have the code? So it's hard. How can you do that better? Um in the short term, it's like karma, right?

Speaker 2 35:29

Do you think it would be helpful to go back to your native language and write things down or just kind of express yourself maybe to a friend or somewhere where you can feel actually heard in that moment?

Speaker 35:42

You mean to bring the emotions out of your chest and and feel yourself heard?

Speaker 2 35:47

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 35:48

Not okay.

Speaker 2 35:49

Correct.

Speaker 35:49

Yeah, that that would help. I was just more thinking as a teacher, like how can you solve the problem? You want your words to land, you have a message to give, and in the short term, you don't have the code yet. So for that, I would say, okay, nowadays you can use an app, you know. You go and you get a tool and you have you say whatever you want, exactly how you want, and have it translated to that language, and you present what you want to say. In the short term, that's a good way to solve. Like, let's say you have a meeting. Let's I'm always thinking professionally, but let's say you have you want to say something to your grandchild or to your husband or to your wife, you know, and you don't have the words yet, you can make use of a tool, you know, for translation. But for the short term, in the long term, you should definitely learn the language and be able to do that by yourself.

Speaker 2 36:32

Yeah, but yes, let's talk about the I'm just is it is it would you actually learn, or is that just kind of like a band-aid? So if I need to use Google Translator to speak that's a band Portuguese, what do you think about that?

Speaker 36:50

No, that's a band-aid. That's why I said in the short term, because I'm I'm not actually thinking how I feel. Like you said, oh, you think you should talk to a friend. My mind is more like, okay, I have a problem, I have to solve it. What do I do? I don't speak the language, I need to say something. I would go for Google Translate, for instance, and I would say what I want in a language that I feel comfortable with and have it translated to a language that I don't speak very well. So I would solve the problem. So I don't think you will become fluent, answer your question, or you really learn a language by doing this. That's just for the now uh solution, you know. But for the long term, I really believe you should learn, take time to understand all the codes, you know. It's beautiful, it's beautiful because you start, it opens a new mindset to you. As I said, it's not just vocabulary, it's much more than that. So why not? Why shouldn't you go and learn that language? You know, I agree.

Speaker 2 37:47

But uh I agree.

Speaker 37:48

The apps, the apps are helpful, but they are not uh the main thing.

Journal Prompt And Final Takeaways

Speaker 2 37:53

Listener, I want to encourage you to think about a time that you felt misunderstood and just kind of take a breath and know whether it has to do with language or just feelings or um neurodivergence, like we've talked about here on the show, or just different ways that you're really trying to show who you are and you're trying to be vulnerable, and maybe people are not picking up on that. I just want you to know that you're not alone. It happens to me, it happens to Bia, it happens to all of us. And sometimes we're misunderstood. And it doesn't feel great, but we're definitely not alone, and we definitely have the skills to walk through those moments. You're listening to Catch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about identity, language, and emotional life. And listener, I want you guys know I always give you a little journal prompt. So I want to offer you a journal prompt for today. Where in your life do you often feel most understood? And where in your life do you feel like you're still searching for the right words? So where do you feel most understood? And then where do you feel most misunderstood? And there's no big aha moment here. These questions are just about exploration and reflection and awareness so that you can get to know yourself better, so that you can get a better sense of who you are and what you enjoy and what you want to do in the world. Today we explore something that touches us all, how language shapes our emotions, how it influences identity, and how deeply we all long to feel seen and understood. And maybe the takeaway isn't that we need perfect words, but that we need presence, curiosity, and a willingness to try, whether that's to try to connect with each other or to connect with ourselves or to learn a new language, or just to explore another part of ourselves, another layer of ourselves, like Bia was saying earlier. Bia, thank you so much for coming and for sharing all your wisdom. And is there anything else you want to share with the listener about what you love about learning languages and teaching languages?

Speaker 40:24

Yeah, I think it's um, as I said before, it's like empowering people to be who they are in whatever language they choose to speak. That is priceless to be able to express yourself, you know, and really with all the emotion that that carries uh a language, you know. And I think this is fascinating.

Speaker 2 40:46

It's empowering and priceless.

Speaker 40:49

Yes, empowering someone is priceless.

Speaker 2 40:52

Oh, I love that. You're full of good sayings today.

Speaker 40:58

It's a saying, but it's something that I truly believe.

Connect With Bia And Support

Speaker 2 41:01

No, it's beautiful. I I can feel that so deeply. Bia, if listeners want to connect with you, where can they find you?

Speaker 41:11

Well, there's my Instagram that is uh brigida.burlitz. That's my last name, brigida.burletz, and that's also my LinkedIn account. Um, yes, like um what else? LinkedIn, Instagram.

Speaker 2 41:27

So Instagram, LinkedIn, and listener, I will leave her links in the show notes so you can definitely find her. Thank you, Bia. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I love you so much.

Speaker 41:39

Thank you for the invitation. As usual, I loved our conversation. You're the best.

Speaker 2 41:44

Oh, I love you, friend. Love you. You've been listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and I'm so glad you spent this time with us. Every time you listen to this show, you make my dreams come true, and I appreciate you so much. Until next time, take good care of yourself. Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gattheahhallam.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.